I am hoping for some honest, good advice from devout Catholics. My husband and I have been married almost 9 years. We have three kids, aged 8, 5 and 2. I 'think' there is another one on the way, but it is too soon to be 100% sure. We have had a lot of difficult things happen to us, but our relationship has always remained strong. Until now...
About a year ago, he got laid off from his job and became very depressed. He was starting a business, and that was providing us with a small income, but I was forced to start working part time to pay the bills. Also, during this time, my grandfather died, with whom my husband and I were very close. He started drinking more. Before all of this, we might have a drink once a week. It has turned into every day with him. He also has disrupted our family life by going to the bar, not coming home because he was too drunk to drive, and choosing to go to the bar rather than come home to his family. He also hides it as much as he can from me.
To make a very long story short, last night he called me, disoriented. He didn't know where he was or how he got there. The phone call got cut off and I couldn't reach him after that. I was worried that he was having a reaction to a new antibiotic he had just been put on so I called 911 and they found him and took him to the ER.
Much to my surprise, the doctor told us that his B.A.C. was twice the legal limit. My husband also apparently experienced fragmentary blackouts during this binge as he insisted that he had only consumed 3 beers and left the bar at 6 (he called me at 7:20 to say he was leaving and called me lost at 8:30).
At this point I don't know what to do. The last time he screwed up because of drinking he went to the Dr. to be treated for depression and has seen the counselor twice. I told him then that he could leave until he figured out his problem, but he stayed and said he could handle it. I am seriously considering filing for legal separation at this point until he completes a treatment program, gets tested for STI's, (if he blacked out, he may have no memory of what he did and I no longer trust him, even though infidelity has never been an issue with him) apologizes to our children, and stops drinking entirely.
Is this too dramatic? Is it necessary? I need to protect my children from this behavior. My priest is apparently unavailable for counsel until October 1 and I just can't wait that long. I would appreciate any thoughts.