Advice, please, re: caring for elderly parents


I would definitely recommend seeing if there is home health support available or if there is an adult day support program they could attend.

While it’s commendable that you want to care for your parents, it’s often not realistic. If one of your parents required substantial physical care, or developed a mental health issue, you simply may not have the physical or emotional capacity to care for them adequately. That’s simply a reality.

My grandmother has Alzheimer’s and recently moved into a facility. An aunt and a cousin had been caring for her but it was becoming untenable. She wanders and was refusing hygiene care, to a point where she was developing health issues as a result. She receives wonderful care at the facility and my parents and some of my aunts and uncles visit her and take her to do things regularly.

Your top priority is your child. You need to take a job that will allow you to make ends me
et. If your parents need care that you can’t provide, your best bet is to find a good facility for them.


Right now, as I said, they can manage on their own unless something happens, like if one of them gets sick.

And even then, the care they need is just a small amount of support rather than lots of constant care.

I know that their health will get worse and I will not be able to do everything they need, but that is not where they are right now, and they may not be there for 2 or 3 years.

Anyway, I agree that it is important for families to sometimes best help a parent by getting outside help (whether in-home or a facility) rather than trying to do more than they can.

In that respect, my parents are lucky my abilities are so very limited in that area :wink:

Thanks so much for your suggestions.


Since illness can happen any time, I think it would be good for you to have a clear Plan A and Plan B. Now is the time to plan for the inevitable.


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