Advices on how to stop doing this

Good day people :slight_smile: I know that masturbation really is a sin according to the church’s teaching and i actually confessed it already just before the year started and the priest even told me that “masturbation makes you feel impure” which is actually true so i decided to include “stop doing masturbation” to my new year’s resolution. But a month later, i did it again and i felt bad and i began to feel shy to ask for God’s forgiveness. I feel like “Will He still forgive me because i kept on doing it again?” i feel really shy and down. I was even afraid to pray or to ask for something because i commit the sin that i promised Him that i won’t ever do it again. Plus, masturbation isn’t my only problem, i think of someone as i do it and i think it is an additional offense. Please give me advice. I’m 16 turning 17 this year and i just want to stop it. :frowning:

PS. Sorry for my wrong grammars. I’m no good in english.

I cannot offer a great deal of advice except that which helped me.

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of the one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross.

As a corollary to the idea of our sin putting Him there, consider how his cross is the accumulation of our sins. Each time we sin, the cross gets heavier…Each time we resist sin, the cross gets lighter.


It’s a very common sin …any priest will tell you.

Our society is so highly sexed and offers us ways to tap into lust on tv, movies, internet, our phones secretly and has become a breeding ground perfect for someone to fall into these types of sins and persist in them until they become habit forming and leaving the victim wondering “what the heck happend! I’m in chains!”

Know its a very common sin…and a very EASY sin to fall into slavery for because it’s so connected with our physical bodies workings.

You fall into it over and over because a few reasons:

  1. It may take some time…but if you are serious, you should see the time range between sins getting farther apart. have not made a sincere act of willing to change your life…meaning u are willing to maintain some changes:

a, staying away from pornographic sources ( you know where they are ! …if that means putting content blockers on tv or internet…or even being willing to get rid of them altogether…then that’s what it will take or you should not be willing to go to confession until you are willing to do so.

  1. You are probably supressing your pent up energy and feelings and desires and not redeeming them. You need to understand why your body acts the way it does. I suggest looking into “Theology of the body” …there is a reason God made us the way He did and why we have the desires we do! The devil has twisted a beautiful thing within you! Here’s the good news…if you permit God to untwist it…you can focus and direct this great power within you and your spirituality will soar! You will have an amazing spiritual growth spurt fighting and overcoming this!

Christopher west teaches about theology of the body…HES AWSOME! This website has LOADS of info on it. There is a 20$ DVD called “winning the battle for sexual purity” BUY IT! I’ve also found a 10 CD set breaking down the popes teaching on theology of the body for like 3$…it’s amazing… if its something that interests you…I suggest finding it.

Some suggestions:

a GOOD confession…one at which you are willing to rework your entire life. When you get home…you get rid of everything that tempts you (because this sin begins at the level of thought).

This is going to sound silly …but trust me. How you live your daily life needs to change: If you have a messy room/ home…clean and organize it, start keeping track of appointments on a planner, plan out your day and plan a day in which you can keep busy (lazy, sloppy and unorganized life sets u up to fall especially when you have lots of time on your hands ) .

Exercise! believe it or not…exercise burns off lots of our pent up energies

Lastly…start to practice fasting. If you can begin to permit your will to tell the body what to do…your will will get stronger and your body will listen to you more.

If you can start studying theology of the body so you understand why we have the urges and what they mean…the untwisting can begin (along with the sacraments and DAILY praying about this) and use my above suggestions… I can gurantee results.

Remember this is going to be a process…AND it’s a process that will allow you to come closer to God through all of it. Every day at the begining of your day say a little prayer asking God to give you strength and to conqure your temptations and to not treat his daughters in such a demeaning way and to help purify your heart. And thank him every night and rededicate your entire body , and feelings, thoughts to His service.

Oh, also…when temptations come… try saying a prayer like this: "Lord I offer this temptation to you and I’m willing to suffer it in atonement for my sins and for the conversion of all my brothers and sister caught in this trap of slavery "

lol, its spiritual jujitsu…you’re taking the devils temptation and causing him to lose souls!

Good luck to you . If you need to talk…don’t hesitate!

I started masturbating around the age of 15. It was once a month but soon was once a day. I would confess and repent, but I still could not turn away from it. It became an addiction in a sense. I used porn and lusted after others. It started to control my life. I sought help through the Church and it lasted for awhile but I would soon masturbate again. A wonderful priest, who also stuggled with addiction in the past, told me about a group called SA.

Do not let it turn into an obsession. Take care of it now rather than later. Blessings be with you!

Why not buy Rosary and put your efforts into reciting Our Lady’s prayers? Without being flippant it will keep your hands and your mind busy! :newidea:

Actually I have the same problem as you and we are the same age:D. What I do is pray the rosary before the day begins and ends. Where something that reminds you of a saint it’s hard to sin with Padra Pio on your arm right. What I do is tie my rosary around my hand so I would have to take it off to sin

Cool :slight_smile: so i’am not alone with this! ^^ haha. Anyway i’ll try your advice. I rarely pray the rosary because i always get bored everytime i pray it, but i’ll try it this time :slight_smile: Thanks!

This one is good :slight_smile: Thanks for sharing Sir James! God Bless!!

the last place I would have been at 16 would have been on a Religious web site…excellent…and…the best advice comes from another 16 y/o…wow…the Holy Rosary and Padre Pio…I have a strong devotion to Padre Pio…actaully was blessed to have made a pilgrimage to San Giovanni Rotundo in 2001…wow…you guys google Padre Pio and watch the Utube of his Holy Mass…awsome…it is said he used to pray the Rosary perpetually…If it was not in his hand…he was known to say…“Bring me my weapon”…powerful prayer ,The Devil hates it;…in my prayers …

First Go to confession

Then make these resolutions

I would say that you should saying prayers to the Blessed Virgin Mary every morning and night asking for the grace of purity.

Eat less Red Meat and Dairy, that will reduce the amount of zinc in your blood and lower your desires.

Watch how much you eat and sleep, you should sleep between 6-8 hours each day but not more, and you should eat in moderation, preferable start some form of Fasting.

  1. The problem is not masturbation. Nor sexual desire. The problem is lust, a vice that is defeated by achieving the virtue of chastity. In order to do this, you must educate yourself on what purity is, on the sacredness of sexuality, and above all else have a strong devotion towards Our Lady, who will purify your most natural desires into something holy, making everything that is lustful appear disgusting. John Paul II’s theology of the body has turned out to be very helpful for this purpose.

  2. We all struggle with this (well, most of us, at least). It may never go away, or it may. The issue with a cross is not to say: “How long, Lord?” but “However long, Lord!”. St. Paul also faced some issue which he calls “a thorn in the flesh” - we don’t know what this may have been - and he says that he asked the Lord three times to take this cross away from him. In the end, Christ Himself spoke to Him and told him:

My grace is sufficient for you. For it is in weakness that my power is made perfect.

Which is why from there on St. Paul said: “where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more.”

  1. God taught us to forgive not once, but as many times as we want God to forgive us. Do you think there’s an upper limit to that? Surely not. God offered you forgiveness once and for all when Christ died on the Cross. As long as you repent, experience sincere contrition, and confess, you will receive God’s forgiveness as many times as needed. For we poor humans are not much.

The saints confessed weekly. And when I was struggling greatly with this same sin you mention - I was in dismay, having to confess the same sin every week, and I was just in such deep sorrow and shame that I don’t think I’d have been able to go ahead without the Lord’s help - my confessor told me: this, the confessional, is where saints are made. Keep going and thank the Lord for being here. And I do this. Every single day of my life I give thanks to God. Perhaps I will keep on offending Him every day of my life. But I don’t want to - and that, brother, is all that matters.

A helpful reading for you is the Spiritual Combat by Lorenzo Scupoli. It is said to have been the favorite reading of St. Francis of Sales, among others. It certainly helped me know myself and the adversary better. It’s a very short and simple reading with practical advice. I kept saying as I read: hey, that’s happened to me. Hey, that too.

May Our Lady cover you with Her mantle and pour into your heart the greatest love for purity, She whose smile can make a most pure seraphim shed tears of joy.

Thank you for your advices and the quote from the bible that you wrote was beautiful :slight_smile: Thanks for posting that. It gave me hope :slight_smile: God Bless!

Being a male, and struggling with this addiction it has been difficult to overcome, and its still something I have to deal with; but its gotten better the closer I am to Jesus.

Once I started going to mass more, confession, and had a desire, a hunger for fullness in my life, I began to desire God. I desire to know God, to be with God, and most importantly, become like God by being Holy. To be Holy, one must simply make an effort to be like God in everything one does, which includes the rejection of sin.

“You have to be Holy in your position as you are, and I have to be Holy in the position that God has put me. So it is nothing extraordinary to be Holy. Holiness is not the luxury of the few. Holiness is a simple duty for you and for me. We have been created for that.” - Mother Teresa

What Teresa is saying is that we can all be Holy, and we have all been created to be Holy, it isn’t only Saints, it isn’t only a few. It is difficult for many to be Holy though, because they struggle with sin.

The one thing I’ve learned again and again, is that masturbation never leaves me satisfied. Sure, for a brief moment I reach a climax, but then it goes away and I’m back to square one, still longing for God. Masturbation is wrong because it simulates sex, and sex is reserved for marriage. Masturbation is healthy because sex is healthy spiritually and physically, but only when done by a married, loving couple. More importantly, masturbation is a mortal sin because it is lustful and inward. The purpose of sex is to manifest love and create life, and a person cannot do that on their own which is why it requires a partner, and is why masturbation is selfish.

You’ll never feel full, and end your thirst for wholeness/God until you stop sinful behavior, including masturbation. This goes to everyone, not just you. This is why St. Augustine said “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

Sinful behavior is the rejection of God, and sinful behavior only makes us more thirsty for God; it is like an elixir. Its as though engaging in sinful actions is like drinking ocean water while stranded in a raft. For a moment there is relief, but it will only have the stranded person thirsting for more.

Try this, it will help.

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