So this past Thursday, I drove out of State to visit my Grandma. While there, my Grandma began talking about my mom’s visit two weekends ago. This easily fell into gossiping about my mom, my brother and his fiance’. Then on the way back home, I stopped by my parents’ and visited with them and my sister and her fiance’, and when talking to my sister, again this very easily went in the way of gossiping about my brother and his fiance’. I did try harder to avoid it this time.
As I mentioned in a previous post, my brother is 19 and engaged to a woman who I had been friends with since 2007. However, throughout my friendship with her, she has been nothing but manipulative of me, constantly creating drama, demanding attention, etc. Everything became a nightmare when I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, as she started heading in the direction of trying to get me trapped into paying for her bridesmaid dress and getting upset any time I went bridal dress shopping on the spur of the moment and didn’t invite her (even though she wasn’t available) even though every time she did come along to such things, she’s get bored and either leave early or to start begging us to cut the trip short because she didn’t want to be there anymore.
After creating some drama at my wedding and then during the couple days after my sister’s wedding, I finally just had it with her and would have ended the friendship then and there had she not started dating my brother.
Well, about a month after my sister’s wedding, they announced their engagement. Then not too long ago, she asked me and my husband to be in her wedding party. I debated for awhile as to how to approach her. The fact is, we really can’t afford it, but beyond that I obviously do not support them getting married and have no interest in having any relationship with her other than my desire to have a relationship with my brother. After thinking and praying about it, my husband and I decided we would send a gentle email that explained we could not be in any wedding due to finances and the baby, and we gave very brief and gentle advise about making sure they prepare for marriage and not just the wedding.
This short, simple and overly polite email got us both defriended by my brother and his fiance’ on facebook. I was fine with this. But then I visit my grandma and find that my mom is trying to get all buddy buddy with my brother’s fiance’ and is trying to encourage them to agree to a Catholic wedding (since my Dad will only pay a portion of it otherwise). Grandma told me that my mom keeps insisting that my brother’s fiance’ has improved (even though she continues to keep jumping from job to job, is eating my parents out of house and home, obviously gaining a significant amount of weight in a very brief period of time, etc, and is right now living in my parents’ place). I had been told by my Dad that this is on a month to month basis, but after this weekend, I see that my Dad has a bit of a fight to get that.
Then of course my sister’s biggest gossip was only to mention to us that she and her husband have also been defriended and that my brother and his fiance’ only glare at the two of them and treat them like they’re not welcomed to visit our parents’. And then just before I left that weekend, I did see his fiance’ and she just gave me this mean look and refused to say hi to me…all while mom is insisting that she’s improved so much.
I’m just having trouble right now not going on and on about this with my husband or anyone I know. What is wrong with my mom? And then I’m just dealing with feelings of “well she acts like I’ve done her such wrong and it makes me feel guilty.” I know I have nothing to feel guilty over, but at the same time I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been estranged from any family or even friends.
How can I avoid gossiping about this and prevent it from bugging me to death?