Advise please......anyone


#1

Hi all,

This is my first post so take it easy on me:)

Just after a little advise if anyone can give it to me.

Very happly married to a fantastic loving and beautiful wife…with two perfect(sometimes)
kids. They are attending a great Catholic school and both are very involved at church on Sunday, when we go. They are 5 and 7 Boy and Girl. They love doing the money collection and blowing the candles out at the end.

We go every week and they enjoy going…but when I say “we” I mean Me (dad) and the kids. My wife is not catholic, she is Church of england, but even so, she will only come to church with us sometimes…Christmas, Easter etc. Now I think the reason is because her Mum and Dad dont believe in god and never have…they never went to church abviously…so its very hard for her to accept god…we have spoken a little about it…but its hard for her tell me her feelings as I feel she does not know what to believe. She can see that it is a wonderful thing and is glad the kids believe…but I think her 19yrs at home have nurtured a culture of dis believe.
My question to you all is how do I get her to accept God without being pushy…and to get her to come with us on a regular basis?


#2

My problem is very similar. I am married 18.5 years to a non- Catholic. He basically is agnostic. We were married in the CC and have three kids, 15, 12, 10. The kids attend mass with me weekly but as of late drag their heels a little. (hoping it is just the age).
I ponder how to get my husband to believe often. he is a very passionate soul and I know could convert many, if only his heart wasn’t so hard. For me “bible thumping” if you will will only turn him off. He claims that that is why he was turned off to religion in the first place( Childhood stuff).
I place my trust in God, that all things are in His time. I pray often for his conversion. ( I visit the St Monica thread here on CAF). I also try to live by examle. I fail miserably most of the time. I know that God has his hand on him, I have to believe that or somedays I just want to give up on his conversion:).

Pray and pray hard…


#3

Just a side note. You CAN'T MAKE her believe. Faith is a free gift, she just has to accept it. I know with the example of you and your children, it can happen.


#4

Had a very similar problem with an aunt - she came into the CC last Easter after 25 years of Rosaries for her .
Love & peace in Christ.:knight2:


#5

You need only pray for her, continue to love her as best you can and then some, think about trying to get involved in some sort of charitable work of mercy with her in the Church so that she can see with her own eyes and feel the joy of helping those in need. Don't overwhelm her like I do my wife, but try to invite her in to the feel good stuff so she can experience the joy we share as Christians. Although she may be "Church of England" She apparently has not seen it in her own family life. The real solution is to continue to keep her up front in all of your prayers and that will help you to continue to be extremely charitable towards her and a catalyst in her conversion - even if its more with her own church.

I struggled for 18 years with my wife trying periodically to see if she was prepared to try the Catholic Church. I gave up hope but continued to set the same example by trying to server her in her needs, even if her needs seemed selfish to me. Ultimately she began converting the same time as me when I shared with her the Didache and finally made a choice to convert back to Catholicism on my own since I finally realized it was in fact truly the first Christian Church. My experiences outside the Church convinced me the need for the Majesterium and Sacred Tradition combined with Sacred Scripture. I learn the hard way. She is now the most devout Catholic woman I konw. She feels bad for not being able to volunteer more. But she's a work aholic and can't let go of imperfection, which is causing her a different kind of pain now. Some people just overly burden themselves with unnecessary noise.

Pray for her. Burn candles in your home. Better yet. create a beautiful prayer corner. Make it Catholic, don't hold back. Women love candles too. By a large crucifix, preferable the ones form Jerusalem, put a shelf on the wall for statues and candles. Place a Sacred Heart of Jesus on the Right and the Immaculate Heart of Mary on the Left. Put a place to hand up special pictures of priests, the Holy Father, your bishop, and maybe a place for rosaries. Then pray the rosary everyday for her. I'd also find a place to hand a picture of the Divine Mercy given to St. Faustina. All of these things inspire. Once she gives God a chance it'll work wonders in her life. I believe in miracles because I've seen them in my own life many times. I lacked faith in God throughout my life during dry spells but I always held to my faith no matter what. It worked well for me. I'm going through something with my wife right now that requires her trust, which she lacks, even though she has no reason not to trust me. She just doesn't trust anyone, except our pastor, which is first. It took me 18 years to get her to open her eyes. What she doesn't know is that once she was really down and out and I asked my pastor through an email to give her a call because she was in a major slump and his contact would work wonders on her. That was 3 years ago and I've never told her. She still believes he did it on his own. It worked so well I will most likely never tell her for her sake as well as ours. If mom and happy no body's happy.


#6

Great advise…I sometimes think to myself that I met her…and married her so that one day my wife might become a catholic or at least become a believer. Sometimes the kids ask “mummy why dont you come to Church” and I can see it hurts her.

Please include me and my wife in your prays as I would love her to talk and interact on a higher spiritual level than what I am on at the moment.

I love her so much and I feel angry at her parents for being so against religion…to the point of them being critical towards it.:confused:


#7

TEXASRANGER,

I’m a fellow Texan. :thumbsup:

I have the same problem you do. :frowning:

I married an unbaptized woman who has serious anger issues. The story of why would take me too long to tell here. Let’s just say that I reverted to the Catholic faith - fully - and it’s been difficult to say the least.

I contemplated what to do and felt inspired by the story of Blessed Elisabeth Leseur. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_Leseur While she suffered scorn her whole life, she never stopped praying for her husband. After her death, he read her diaries and converted - and even became a priest!!!

So, that is the answer. The Cross. Take up your cross and follow Jesus.

The advice others have given you here is good. Pray for her. Deepen your own faith. Pray before the Blessed Sacrament often. Frequent confession. Devote yourself to her genuine service (i.e., don’t be servile or a pushover, but do actually serve her). She will know you are a true Christian by your love - not the warm fuzzy love, but God’s love.

Remember also God converts, not us. Keep praying for her, and keep praying until you die - because it might be after that that she converts and you have saved her soul. And what is more important than that?

I will pray for you and ask for your prayers.

God Bless,


#8

Jesus actually told us what to do, be the salt of the earth, be a light on a hill - let your light so shine before men that they see your good works and glorify your father who is in heaven.

Be such an amazing husband that she tells her friends "you need to get your husband to become Catholic! It is amazing!"


#9

Hey Contego,

Thanks for your kind words…unfortunatly Iam not Texan…I know…I know its just my call name…my last name is Walker…so you know like Texasranger Walker…anyway I live in Brisbane, Australia…the land down under…

Thank you for your prayers and I hope things work out at your end to…You and the others have given me some great ideas…so thank you:thumbsup:

Cheers…from the Aussie with a Texan name


#10

That’s okay mate…:wink: We’ll make you an honorary Texan for now. Just say YEE HAA! and your in. And if you like I can debutise you as a Louisiana Cajun if you like since I used to live there and most of my family live there still.


#11

Texan, never give up hope. My husband was about as agnostic as a person could get without being a downright atheist. I was raised Mennonite but loved the liturgy, so first became Episcopalian for many years. I finally converted to the One True Church and by this time, my DH had become a believer in Jesus. Eventually he found his way into the Catholic Church along with me! Praise God! Now he is a major apologist on this forum (I won't say who) who is staunchly Catholic to the core.
Pray a rosary a day for your wife's conversion....the rosary is our most powerful ally in aiding in conversion of souls. Let your wife know that you're praying for her without being pushy. Invite her to Mass every single Sunday and be cheerful if she doesn't want to go. Do NOT make her feel guilty. Show her that you live a life of prayer. I agree with the above poster who advises on setting up a home altar with candles, etc. Very good for your children. Make time for Evening Prayer with your whole family.
Be mainly be sweet and tender with her all the time. She is your wife and you want her to be happy...of course, she won't be entirely happy until you both are singing off the same sheet of music, but trust me, that will come!:thumbsup:


#12

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