Afraid of being rejected


#1

I received the calling to become a nun a little over four years ago. The thing is, I got into a bad car accident and recieved a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Not many people know what that is. If you look it up, it's scary. I am a highly functional TBI person. I don't need any extra medical attention besides annual check ups. The only thing really wrong is that I can be slow to understand but I can learn new things and once I catch on, I'm fine. My memory is not up to par so I may need a note pad for things to jot down.

In the future I would like to join a cloistered community. I'm worried if I disclose my injury, they'll check in with their medical personal and they'll deny me. If I don't disclose and they find out later, that will probably cause problems. You can see my dilemma.

-Forgiveness, Service & Love-


#2

The best thing to do is be honest and straight forward about who you truly are and your condition. Jesus told the 70 followers that were to go from town to town proclaiming the Good News that if a town welcomes as you are that is fine, if they reject you becuase of the Good News then shake the dust off your feet.
I’m sure there is some ministry you can find that will accept you just as you are, just keep looking. Good Luck and God Bless.


#3

Tell them: don’t be worried. If you have a true vocation they will help you discern it.:thumbsup:


#4

I say this: Just let them meet you and get to know you. They will notice if anything is different about you.

If they ask about any medical conditions, then disclose. If they don't ask, then don't disclose. There are lots of people who have minor limitations like you who were born with them. This is no big deal. I think you are making a big deal about of it.

They won't just make you a nun instantly. They will want to spend lots of time getting to know you. They will see any limitations in how you function.

I see no need for you to make a big announcements such as, "Listen up everyone! I had a Traumatic Brain Injury that limits my functionality! Okay? Did everyone get that! I'm disabled!"

No. No need to do that. Just let them see how you do function, I think they will just assume you born with certain limitations, and they will decide whether you fit into their community or not. LET them decide.

But, even more important, TRUST GOD.

TRUSTING God means KNOWING that NOTHING can go wrong in your life as long as you keep your heart pure and stay in God's graces (as best as you can).

That means that even if EVERY religious community on earth were to reject you, even then NOTHING at all has gone wrong, since you will only have seen God's glorious Will work out.

God is constantly arranging the best possible outcomes for those who love Him. See? NOTHING can go wrong. NOTHING!

Your vocation is to love and serve God. The rest is all details.

She who loves and serves God will be loved, embraced, saved and sanctified by God and will be happy in this life and forever in the World to Come.

For those who love God, there are no accidents, no missteps, no errors, no wrong paths, no dead ends, no injustices. God is love. God makes everything happen that needs to happen for the welfare of his children who love him. Jesus said that God knows about every sparrow.

This is OUR FAITH. We don't need to fret and worry. Nothing can go wrong at all. That's what Jesus said. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life." Matt 6:25

To be honest, I would not admit you to a religious community right now. Why now? Not because of a brain injury. But because of your lack of FAITH in God's providence. Faith means trust. Are you trusting God now? I don't think so. Your post title is "Afraid of being rejected." So, by your own admission, you are AFRAID. What are you afraid of? I think you are afraid that YOUR WILL will not be done. A person who takes religious vows must want GOD's WILL to be done above all. What you want and love and like and hope for does matter. God loves you, and sees your hopes and dreams. I don't say that your hopes and dreams are nothing. God wants you to be happy and feel loved and important in the right sense. But, any sort of worldly fear IS a terrible impediment to progress in the spiritual life.

On the other hand, gaining CERTAINTY in the Goodness of God is a MIGHTY uplift to progress in the spiritual life. Such certainty CAN be gained. I'm sure you know or can find the path.

Best wishes!


#5

Put your faith in God, who in his wisdom permitted your injury and will work it towards the good of his providence. Therefore I say be honest about it and perhaps even have your own doctors report available. If this community won’t take you keep going on until one does.

If I remember correctly, the test the rule of Benedict calls for is not one of intelligence but of your own commitment. It says to turn away anyone seeking entry to the brotherhood (or in this case sisterhood) five times, and if they persist only then should they be accepted. I would also advise you to pray to the patron of the order in question to aid you in finding entrance.


#6

You really have no option but to tell the truth and trust that whatever happens is the Will of God for you as we believe that nothing happens to us without His say so.


#7

Be honest. You do not want to build a foundation with a community based on dishonesty.

If God wills you to enter religious life, He will make it so. If it is God’s will for you then you will find somewhere. Trust in Him.


#8

What a beautiful reply, Bartolome Casas, seriously. As of yet I am not ready to fully seek into my vocation and I’m happy you noticed that. I no longer have a will. The only will I have is to fulfill whatever God’s will is. Within my human nature, I’m worried I’ll fail Him but you’re right, I shouldn’t worry about that. When St. Rita had trouble getting into the convent, at the last minute God placed her miraculously inside the walls.

Deep in my heart I do know it’s in His perfect will for me to one day be in a convent. I love to pray, ask, thank and glorify Him several times a day, everyday. He is so wonderful, any word of praise to Him, in every language throughout the world can’t justify His magnificents. Praised be Jesus Christ, now, always and forever!

-Forgivness, Service & Love-


#9

If it is God’s will, an order will take you.

If TBI is an impediment, then it’s not God’s will.

A friend of mine’s daughter wanted to go into consecrated life, but she has terrible allergies and some other health issues. When she lamented, her mom replied, “If God wanted you in consecrated life, you would not have these health issues.”


#10

The funny thing is, Jesus has chosen me since I was a child. In my dream when I was a lot younger, I was in this room where the floor was transparent and there was a lot of things made out of pink marble like this massive, beautiful water fountain. As Jesus walked in, I caught a glimpse of the room he was walking from and there was a big celebration going on with many people. He came to me and He said, “Wait for me, I’ll come back for you.” Then he left to go back to the party and as the door closed, I heard it lock.

I was enclosed in a room, by mysellf and in solitude. I woke up and the dream didn’t make any sense to me until years later. Again some time had past and I would get subtle hints of becoming a nun. At this time I was stubborn and wouldn’t have any of this so I pushed it out of my head. Some more time past, the accident had already happend, I felt completely lost and undesignated in life. I didn’t know what to do so I asked and in a very quick reply I got my blunt calling.

If He came to me when I was a child, had this life changing accident happen to me and give me the blunt calling after my injury, why would He change His mind? He knew all this would eventually come to play because He knows the future and knows all. Thank you for taking the time and reaching out to me. God bless!

-Forgiveness, Service & Love-


#11

Trust in God and apply. Be honest and forthright and let God take care of the rest.:thumbsup:


#12

If you are looking for a cloistered order, check out the Recluse Sisters in Montreal are awesome.

reclusesmiss.org/rm_english.php

I don’t know their criteria, but they are very special women. Their order is located in an area that is somewhat near a hospital if you ever need medical treatment but far enough that you can also enjoy the cloistered life. I’ve gone to the monastery for a couple of retreats and its a very pretty and special place. You will need to learn french but that is ok, they all speak some english.


#13

I am the poster child for rejection from religious life. I am a mature, 58 year old, who was married then annulled. When I first began to discern my vocation, I was deciding if God wanted me to adopt another child (I have & had been practicing celibacy for years) or find a community or secular institute. God has revealed to me that I can have both.

I’ve inquired on many occasions. My older daughter is developmentally handicapped, so she will be with me for a while. But that is my calling. It was also called to the consecrated life. My spiritual director at the time, a Dominican sister, told me that if He didn’t want you, you wouldn’t feel the call. All you can do is let Our Holy Mother be your guide and listen to the Holy Spirit. You will find how He wants you to serve Him.

I have an emerging charism, the Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene. We are all a bit older than you, but we discovered how we are to serve God in the world. We have meetings, via internet, but we also have opportunities for community, we have habits/common dress & just recently, the Chancery for the diocese recognized us as a private association of the faithful. We are not under the direction of the bishop, but he is aware of us as I keep him informed & his chancellor gives me suggestions.

Find a good spiritual director. Call the office of your diocese or archdiocese & ask for them to recommend someone for you. But most of all, continue to pray. He will never fail you. “…look at the lilies of the field…”


#14

[quote="InGodWeTrust25, post:10, topic:272743"]

If He came to me when I was a child, had this life changing accident happen to me and give me the blunt calling after my injury, why would He change His mind? He knew all this would eventually come to play because He knows the future and knows all. Thank you for taking the time and reaching out to me. God bless!

[/quote]

Most orders have vocations directors that help people discern. Have you talked with any?


#15

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