I know I’m going to get absolutely slammed, but please be gentle with me and let me explain before I stand judgement and “mortal” sin is thrown at me :o
I am a fertile woman…a blessing and I have 2 beautiful children. I am nearing 40 and really don’t want anymore children. I have not had a menstral cycle yet and I’m just too afraid to have relations with my husband without ABC until my cycle is back to normal and then I can practice NFP again.
My son had terrible colic for 4 months and it was a nightmare. I have no family to help me, so I am completely alone with my kids. My husband and I have not gone on a date for 3 years now. I feel like I’m losing the man I fell in-love with and he’s losing who I used to be. We fight a lot about silly things b/c of the stress of children with absolutely NO family help.
I know that a 3rd child could put our marriage in danger. My husband is not a big help with the children either. I am solo. He changes diapers, etc., but doesn’t help much beyond that…doesn’t read to my daughter, make dinner, clean, take her to the park by himself, etc.
Because I know I am very fertile, I am terrified to have another baby given my circumstances. I have made love to my husband on 3 occassions since DS was born. The first time, we used no ABC and I was freaking out taking pregnancy test after test. The next 2 times, I used ABC. I avoid sex with my husband as a result, but if he wants to, I then submit and use ABC.
Once my cycle is back to normal, I plan to return to NFP. I keep apologizing to God for my lack of faith in Him and myself. I wish I would just get my period so I could feel more comfortable using NFP again.
Please don’t slam me; I’m already feeling terrible about this as it is.