My husband lusts after women with big breasts. I am very small. I have always been small and after 20some years of marriage I don’t expect that to change. I recently found out about his facination with big breasted women and his lusting at them whenever he sees a woman with curves and the more skin exposed the more he goes crazy. This is really messing with our sex life as I feel so rejected and unattractive to him. I feel he married me because I’m a great cook, housekeeper, laundress, childrearer, disciplinarian to our 6 children, and all around useful person, but not the one he especially wants to engage in intimacy with. I refuse to let him see me w/o clothing anymore. All intimacy must be in the dark for me to feel able to be w/ him. How do I overcome this feeling of ugliness, being lied to, being just the available body to expend his sexual energy on while he dreams of his lust objects? I just want to out of this sad relationship. I hope for a lightning strike, a heart attack, a car accident, so I don’t have to go on.
Seek out a good Catholic counselor. www.catholictherapists.com (I am on dial up, I think that is the link) is one resource.
Is your husband a practicing Catholic?
Counsleing may be the best thing. But I think you should pray every day about this (though maybe you are already.) God helps us too.