After almost eight years she's getting a


Divorce. My wife left me about eight years ago after about seven years of marriage. About eight years ago she told me she’s been living a lie ( I don’t know what that means) and told me to leave. Thanks be to God I have found a lot of joy in the celibate life. However, I know that contesting a divorce wont change her mind. She left the church once she left me. I still love her dearly. Will you all please keep her in your prayers?

Should I persue a decree of nullity out of charity towards her? ( I don’t know if there are any grounds for that matter)

Am I abliged to do so for her? I know that she will most likely get remarried and perhaps if an annulment is given she wont be living in sin.

I would appreciate your feedback on this.


Prayers for both of you.

If she’s interested in obtaining an annulment she’ll ask for one. Sounds like she probably won’t be, though.


You may find a lot of peace in pursuing an annulment as well. Not “getting” one, because that is up to the Tribunal. Even if a celebate life has been a source of joy to you, knowing that your original marriage was valid or invalid allows you to make relationship decisions in the future.

I initiated the annulment process and was fully prepared for my marriage (of over 30 years) to be declared valid (after all, I always THOUGHT it was!); but as it was found invalid, I know that should someone come into my life, I would be free to pursue a relationship and remain in good stead with my Church. Minimally, it’s nice to accept a dinner invitation from a nice man without worrying about how scandalous I’m behaving – even in my own mind. :wink:

You are in my prayers.


I’m really sorry about all of this. You and your wife are in my prayers. As far as the annulment goes, it can’t hurt to find out. It may be the most charitable thing you can do for yourself and your wife at this time.

God Bless you.


You are a lovely man to ask for prayers for her. God bless you, and yes, you have my prayers – for both of you.

The advice given is very good, maybe seeking out an annulment will make you feel better, and even more so to the charity you show your wife? Good luck, let us know what happens.


Since you don’t really know the “lie” she was living, you may never have had a valid marriage to begin with.

Pursue it out of charity so she would have the option to return to the Church someday.

I’m sorry for your pain. I hear you, bro.



My wife and I will pray for you and your wife. We both had similar circumstances in our prior ‘attempted marriages’ and both found the annulment process to be healing and drew us closer to God individually. We also learned more about Catholic doctrine along the way and what a sacramental marriage should be.

Best wishes to you during your transition. Act as a married man if/until an annulment is granted and God will bestow graces for your generosity and patience.


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