After Confirmation

Someone told me that the Church forbids a Confirmation sponsor to have a romantic relationship(i.e. dating, courtship, marriage…) with their Confirmation candidate. I can’t find anything on that, so is it true?


What this person refers to is the impediment of a spiritual relationship.

In the past, this was an impediment, similar to impediments of consanguinity and affinity. It is no longer an impediment.

I have not heard of this with regards to the Confirmation of ‘youth’ but I have with adults going through RCIA.

I have seen wives sponcer thier husband, and vice a versa, so I don’t think that is correct.

Technically it is permitted, under the new canon law (1983) but it is still a really bad idea. The purpose of the sponsor is to connect the candidate to the parish community - the wife or husband doesn’t do that and in fact often just reinforces the bad habits of the family, rather than giving the candidate a broader perspective.

it used to be the case under canon law that the relationship of godparent-godchild was understood to be too intimate and close to allow marriage, so there is still a holdover. In this diocese the spouse or fiance of a confirmation candidate is discouraged from being a sponsor because they may be, such is the sad state of the culture today, actively participating with the candidate in a sinful activity (cohabitation, contraception etc). which the candidate must renounce and confess before receiving the sacrament. The other reason, particularly in the case of a fiance or bf/gf is that the relationship might break off during the course of sacramental preparation, damaging or derailing the process.

I agree that it is a bad Idea for a number of reasons. Howver, It is allowed.

Okay. Thank you for the answers!


While it is technically allowed many parishes don’t allow husband/wife to be a sponsor for their spouse (or fiancees sponsor their partner) in RCIA. In my diocese this is not allowed, they will let your spouse be part of the process but they will find someone else to be your official sponsor. In my RCIA class we had a wife come to sponsor her husband and they did allow her to fully take part in everything, but they had a third person work with them and be the husbands official sponsor.

If you are considering this you need to check with your local parish.

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