I’m 48. I was baptized Catholic as a infant, went to Catholic school through the 8th grade and, went to a Jesuit University. I have never experienced any of the Catholic trauma that some claim. I have always found my faith and Church to be a source of love and comfort.
Until about a year and a half ago.
A year an a half ago I found out my 21 year old son is gay. This was not something I ever expected to deal with in my life, so one of the things I did was talk to my parish priest. My parish priest was formerly the Vicar General of my local diocese. My priest provided me with good council. I followed most of what he suggested which helped me provide loving support of my son and wife.
The problem I’m having is that he also suggested that I join a “support” group called PFLAG (www.pflag.org). Take a look and see if you think I should join this group. I did not think so. My priest also told me that science had learned a lot about sexual orientation in recent years and if homosexuality is not a choice, it is not a sin.
The upshot of all of this is that I have lost my faith. If sin is subjective and situational why do I need a savior? What is the point of Catholic faith?
Look, I’m a sinner. I used to go to confession at least four times a year. At times I felt that this was a bit silly since I could record one of my confessions and just play it in confession every time I went. My weaknesses don’t change. I don’t think most people’s do. Not hiding from my sin and understanding my weaknesses helped me avoid the near occasion of sin.
My priest (the former Vicar General) tells me this does not apply to my son.
Well I haven’t been to Mass since the last time I spoke to my priest. I don’t see the point. If it was not for my brothers in the Knights of Columbus I would have no association with the Church at all. I miss it, but I have lost my faith. I just can’t fake it.
Is there a path back? I sure can’t find it.