After living together, how do we get married in the Catholic Church?

Hi,

I am a non catholic and have been living with a catholic for 4 years.

We are expecting our first child in August 05.

We do want to get married, but are unsure how to go about it. We are getting a lot of pressure from his Catholic mother, who is being a bit over bearing, any advice on how to tell her to back off and trust us to make the right decision.

okay, now for the questions.

If we get married in the catholic church before the baby in a small quick ceremony, can we do this without haveing the long mass before hand and still be considered valid by the church? Can the baby still be baptized?

If we get married after the baby is born in the catholic church is this acceptable and can the baby still be baptized?

What if we get married outside of the church, can we still have a priest come and marry us and be valid by the church??

Please help.

Dear AK,

Go see the priest. It is possible to be married in a small private ceremony. Usually, when one party is not Catholic, Mass is not a part of the ceremony. It is also possible to do this after the baby is born—though it is more complicated due to the added duties and pressures of having a new baby to care for.

Do not get married outside of the Catholic Church. This will complicate things considerably. The Church would not consider that marriage to be valid. Contact the priest. Write again if you need to. The three of you are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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