Age obessed culture!


#1

I am in sailing lessons. Two of my three classmates are sisters, 17 and 15.

When they found out I was 27 they were floored.

"Wow! I can't believe someone who's ten years older can be fun and be a friend!"

I felt such sympathy for her. My entire life I've befriended people older and younger than me. As a child I adored my 70 year old neighbor and played with my 50 yo' neigbor's step-grandchildren who were 8 years younger.

Although they are not intimate friends I consider the two young girls I tutor my friends, and they're 10 and 8. I also very much consider my friend X a good friend even though he has kids 7 years older than me and is in his 60's. I have always had an easy time making friends. Of my best friends one is 4 years yonger, one is 6 years older, one is 13 years older, (sister of the only friend who is also my exact age) the other is 18 years older. Even my boyfriend is 5 years older. The co-worker I get along best with is 6 years older. I don't see anything wrong with that. Infact, it seems to be better...less stagnat, more variety.

Even my college roomate is 2 years younger. I only know one person who's birthday is in my same year, nevermind anything else.

I tend to be introverted and befriend people I 'fit' with....or friends of friends where they'res already an established bond that I can slowly piggyback on.

Anyone else find this mind boggling?

And how can I help my young friend learn that people who are +/- her age aren't boring stiffs?


#2

[quote="purplesunshine, post:1, topic:249074"]

And how can I help my young friend learn that people who are +/- her age aren't boring stiffs?

[/quote]

Just by being yourself. Young people often see age as an impediment for friendship. And tend to see anyone over 30 as really old. :) I find it cute.


#3

When we were 17, people who could legally buy beer were mature adults, and anyone over 25 was old, and anyone over 30 was just too ancient for words.

I’ts normal that your teenaged friends are stymied by their friendship with you. Normal reaction, but totally cool friendship.

Just keep being yourself with them. Your normal, workaday interactions with them will more than anything else show them that 27-year-olds are not boring old fogeys.


#4

[quote="purplesunshine, post:1, topic:249074"]
Anyone else find this mind boggling?

[/quote]

I think part of this comes from the fact that society, especially for kids, is VERY segregated by age. Kids are in school all day in classes with kids pretty much their exact same age. They participate in after-school activities with kids the same age. Most kids now live in a family with only one or two siblings, generally within a year or two. Often their primary experience with adults is with their parents and teachers which, somewhat understandably, are just not considered "cool." :D

I understand where you are coming from though. My closest friends are a family into which I have pretty much adopted myself. :D I figured out one time that I'm pretty much smack in the middle of the 11 year old daughter and her mom and I consider both good friends. :thumbsup:


#5

I am 63 and my wife tell me not to behave like a child!


#6

Children tend to think that adults are not potential friends because many adults look down on children. Treat them as peers and they are peers... Speak down to them and they will think you're just an old

I've found there is a time and place to be a peer and a time and place to be an old

God bless


#7

[quote="Myqyl, post:6, topic:249074"]
Children tend to think that adults are not potential friends because many adults look down on children. Treat them as peers and they are peers... Speak down to them and they will think you're just an old

I've found there is a time and place to be a peer and a time and place to be an old

God bless

[/quote]

Thing is I was never this way so I just don't get it.:shrug:


#8

We have a culture now where friendships between adults and children are frowned upon and the adult is automatically seen as as creepy or perverted. It's sad but that's the way people tend to see things. We live in a paranoid society where children especially are increasingly being bubble-wrapped.

I've never cared about age. But I grew up where you were restricted to your compound and I was the oldest kid there so I got used to having friends younger than me. My sister is three years younger and I have been close to several of her friends. My previous housemates were three years older than me. My housemate was friends with some 16-year olds and my other friend found that strange, though I saw no problem.


#9

That's how I was raised. Perhaps it was being homeschooled, but I also found it easier to make friends who any where from a couple years older to 4 times my age.

And how can I help my young friend learn that people who are +/- her age aren't boring stiffs?

I think you have already given her the best teaching example possible. And that is by showing that YOU are not a boring, stiff old person. Their idea of the age a fun person must be is now broken.


#10

This is another good reason for homeschooling.

I'm young (highschool), but I do many activities designed for and attended by people much older than I, and many of my friends are much older than I, and also some are younger. Many of my "peers" at activities I attend are adults, and I don't think twice about it.


#11

[quote="TheMc, post:10, topic:249074"]
This is another good reason for homeschooling.

I'm young (highschool), but I do many activities designed for and attended by people much older than I, and many of my friends are much older than I, and also some are younger. Many of my "peers" at activities I attend are adults, and I don't think twice about it.

[/quote]

OH MY GOSH!

Why does every discussion of kids have to turn into a "homeschollers are better" plug????

I find it disgusting and a sign of deep insecurity that it must be stated 10,000 times. I was a third grader--in a PUBLIC school-- and while my best friend was a classmate I had friends older and younger than me....though, in third grade it didn't take much to be younger or older. :p I have ALWAYS been good at it. My peers seem to handle it well, in college we were friends with professors. And those older than me seem to know how to be friends despite age gaps. Though I have to admit those 50+ can drone on a bit about how 'everyone' used to be catholic and have 2 parent families and such.

But the current crop of teens seem to be the clueless ones. Maybe it's the way they're rasing them these days.


#12

[quote="purplesunshine, post:11, topic:249074"]
OH MY GOSH!

Why does every discussion of kids have to turn into a "homeschollers are better" plug????

I find it disgusting and a sign of deep insecurity that it must be stated 10,000 times. I was a third grader--in a PUBLIC school-- and while my best friend was a classmate I had friends older and younger than me....though, in third grade it didn't take much to be younger or older. :p I have ALWAYS been good at it. My peers seem to handle it well, in college we were friends with professors. And those older than me seem to know how to be friends despite age gaps. Though I have to admit those 50+ can drone on a bit about how 'everyone' used to be catholic and have 2 parent families and such.

But the current crop of teens seem to be the clueless ones. Maybe it's the way they're rasing them these days.

[/quote]

I didn't intend to turn it into a "homeschollers are better" thread, and honestly, I don't talk about homeschooling very much. But it is true, that homeschooling does discourage this age obsessiveness.


#13

[quote="TheMc, post:12, topic:249074"]
I didn't intend to turn it into a "homeschollers are better" thread, and honestly, I don't talk about homeschooling very much. But it is true, that homeschooling does discourage this age obsessiveness.

[/quote]

The homeschooling comment isn't directed at you, it's this whole forum.

on CAF:rolleyes:

Social problems with youngesters = if you homescholled them it never would of happened
Problems with mass = it's the fault of the ordinary form
problems with teens and mass = it's lifeteens fault
someone likes the occult = they musta read Harry Potter
wear an ordinary swimsuit = you're buying into the culture of immorailty.


#14

The girls are only 15 and 17; they’ve had each other for friends, so they may not have needed to go outside their family or their same-aged relatives much. They may, by chance of circumstance, know too many just-older people who have refused their invitations to do something with a dismissive “Run along, I’m too old for that”…like maybe their 5-years-older-than-they sister and her friends. You just don’t know.

You’ll meet all kinds in life. They’re pleased to meet you, they’re happy to be your friend, you’ve expanded their view of the world. That’s a nice thing. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it.


#15

[quote="purplesunshine, post:13, topic:249074"]
The homeschooling comment isn't directed at you, it's this whole forum.

on CAF:rolleyes:

Social problems with youngesters = if you homescholled them it never would of happened
Problems with mass = it's the fault of the ordinary form
problems with teens and mass = it's lifeteens fault
someone likes the occult = they musta read Harry Potter
wear an ordinary swimsuit = you're buying into the culture of immorailty.

[/quote]

You know, you don't need to attack and paint the entire forum with a broad brush just because someone mentioned home schooling. That was her experience and she wasn't telling you that should you have children, you must home school them.

Personally, although you didn't ask, I don't like the Lifeteen program and since most parishes near us run their confirmation program through Lifeteen, neither of my sons has been confirmed.

But a lot of people like it just fine.


#16

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:15, topic:249074"]
You know, you don't need to attack and paint the entire forum with a broad brush just because someone mentioned home schooling. That was her experience and she wasn't telling you that should you have children, you must home school them.

Personally, although you didn't ask, I don't like the Lifeteen program and since most parishes near us run their confirmation program through Lifeteen, neither of my sons has been confirmed.

But a lot of people like it just fine.

[/quote]

Wow blaming lifeteen on no confirmation. Thats a first.

And about homeschooling. You are twisting words extremely. The poster was the 2nd poster of seven to mention that this is a problem that canbe fixed by homeschooling....which i find tiresome


#17

[quote="purplesunshine, post:16, topic:249074"]
Wow blaming lifeteen on no confirmation. Thats a first.

And about homeschooling. You are twisting words extremely. The poster was the 2nd poster of seven to mention that this is a problem that canbe fixed by homeschooling....which i find tiresome

[/quote]

Hmmm... I wonder if people keep bringing up homeschooling because that is a very common trait among homeschoolers. Maybe... just maybe ... people aren't just doing it to shove homeschooling down your throat. Maybe they are just sharing their experiences.

Maybe you could lighten up a little?


#18

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:15, topic:249074"]
You know, you don't need to attack and paint the entire forum with a broad brush just because someone mentioned home schooling. That was her experience and she wasn't telling you that should you have children, you must home school them.

Personally, although you didn't ask, I don't like the Lifeteen program and since most parishes near us run their confirmation program through Lifeteen, neither of my sons has been confirmed.

But a lot of people like it just fine.

[/quote]

Well... your sons should be confirmed, but on the other hand, I don't blame you for avoiding LifeTeen. Maybe you could try asking your parish or diocese to prepare them at home, or maybe even get them confirmed through another group, such as an EF group?


#19

[quote="TheMc, post:17, topic:249074"]
Hmmm... I wonder if people keep bringing up homeschooling because that is a very common trait among homeschoolers. Maybe... just maybe ... people aren't just doing it to shove homeschooling down your throat. Maybe they are just sharing their experiences.

Maybe you could lighten up a little?

[/quote]

Maybe you could acknowledge that CAF has a problem


#20

[quote="purplesunshine, post:19, topic:249074"]
Maybe you could acknowledge that CAF has a problem

[/quote]

I don't see a problem. You posted a rant/mind dump, and we commented on it. It is a valid comment, and it is very true about homeschoolers. No one is condemning you to hell.

Also, you mentioned how many blame LifeTeen. There are problems with that organization. Any "catholic" organization that encourages it's followers to change the texts of the Mass has issues. And there are many more issues with their methodology, and other things I'm not going to go into right now.


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