well.. I have another big issue happening in my life at the moment. So, im sorry, if this comes out as being a partial vent.
Well, for those of you who dont no me, im a first year uni student. So im 19. and for the sake of the story - my family and I are pretty strong in our faith. But.. moving on. This year, has been a big stepping stone for me. Since, iv had to get out of being spoon fed and become more independent - i.e. with getting myself to uni (which is 1.5hrs from home by bus&train) in contrast to High skool (where i got dropped off and my hs was only 5mins from my place). umm... and other examples including, iv tried to become less dependent on my parents in terms of transport and also on the emotional level (as in, less venting to them about issues and assigns..)mmm.. however, the real problem is.
That they still treat me like a child.
One typical example is that they dont let me go out with my uni friends to a pub or a night club in the evenings (btw - i dont plan on getting drunk or laid or any of that..). However, these friends that i go with are very trustworthy. As in, none of them do drugs, smoke or get drunk. I've introduced them to my family, but my mother will only let me go out with them, if she knows their mother or my friends extremely well.
but the think that really ticks me off, is that, when my eldest brother was my age - he was allowed to do whatever he pleased, regardless if my mother knew his friends or not. So, in contrast to him, my other older brother and me are not treated in the same way. We are I guess, seen as the 'irresponisble' children in the family and this is due to - a) me, being the messsy child i.e. messy room & lack of helping out wif chores b) my other brother being the one that struggles at getting good grades in uni.
so basically, my eldest brother (the, one who is the 'responsible' one) has never ever broken boundaries with my parents, in terms of going out or having a girl friend, has left me to do the work. Which, in my opinion is sh*t. Coz only a few days ago, I brought up these issues with my mother and she had a yelling fight with me about it.
So, pretty much............... she thinks "im in the wrong". and btw - i brought this up with my spiritual director about 4 months ago. and she suggested if I found it impacted on me quite a bit, I should bring it up with my mother. so i did. and omgosh.. it did nothing..
I'm trying to become more independent in terms of getting my license to drive and getting a job so i can show her that. She can let me go. But honestly, im seriously going insane. I hate it how my mother wont let me go without being un-supervised. This trust issue and over-protectiveness is really getting to me.
omgosh.. and I hate it how my eldest brother ('responsible one') never ever broke any boundaries.. and now has left it to the younger ones to look after. far out, i cant even imagine when my mother will allow us to actually go out on dates etc etc.
help! any good words of advice..?!..
or what can I do, to show my mother that it is alright to let me go out..? and that not all the time, she can control my environment...
Do you think talking to my mum helped..?! ah!