All the great reasons to have kids


#1

So much of the world today is negative toward having kids (or having a lot of kids). I’m interested in why you think that having kids is the greatest thing in the world! I would also like to hear from parents of larger families about the special joys that come along with that.

I’ll start:
They make me feel joy EVERY day!
I have a wonderful sense of purpose.
The sibling bonds are the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. To know they’ll have each other even after I’m gone-- priceless.


#2

This is exactly the type of thread I need right now. I’ve been reading way too many articles and blogs lately by people who say having kids is a big mistake that sucks all the joy out of your life. Even my own parents told me to put off having kids as long as I could and to really think hard about whether I really wanted them, because the daily torment of having them is so immense.
I need someone to tell me that having kids can be joyful, because honestly, all I’ve ever heard all of my life from parents, teachers, friends, the media, etc. is how difficult it is and how it’s barely worth it. Nobody ever seems to talk about the joys of parenthood.
I’m going to have a baby next May, and I realized recently that when I thought of parenthood, all I could think about was the utter emotional and physical exhaustion I would have to face every day. It’s pretty scary and I hate second-guessing the decision to have one. :frowning: I’m trying to trust in God that it will all work out.


#3

I walked in the door after class today and my 17 month old, got up from “reading” his book to run, and trip, across the floor to be picked up and kissed and say “hi.” :love:

He has a little cold right now and at mass yesterday he laid his head down on my shoulder and fell asleep. At one point when he was still awake, he wrapped his arm around my neck and gently played with my hair, twirling it, and petting it. :heaven:

The one in utero, has decided to let his presence know and has been kicking me until it hurts. But he is there and healthy and letting me know. :stuck_out_tongue:

Parenting has been hard and a definite adjustment, but the most wonderful thing in the world. I don’t know if the things I wrote above are good reasons to have kids, but they sure make my day.


#4

Isn’t it crazy how negative people can be about kids? I’m nearing 40 right now, and I have finally shed the last of my feminist raising. I grew up thinking that I would never have kids. As a married woman, I felt ashamed when I told family members that I was pregnant each time. After my first, my mom advised me to have no more. The culture I grew up in was a kind of anti-child. Children just interfered with a woman’s ability to have a job and make money… Now, I’m old enough to know that my kids and family are all that really matters (after God, of course). I just wish I had more of them (well, I’m working on that).

Congratulations, Charlotte!!! They truly are God’s greatest gift-- you’ll see. :slight_smile:


#5

I’m a mom to 3 young kids (5, 3 and 1). I also homeschool. Way before marriage I had no idea if I would want kids or not. Like it’s up to me, I know… However, I just wasn’t sure how I’d be as a mom. I liked working with kids but babies, me? But I have to tell you, once my first was born, it was love at first sight. To know your child so intimately growing inside you, despite all the discomforts and then delivering this baby into the world. It’s so amazing. And it really is all the little things that keep you going - the little gassy smiles, the first laugh, the way their eyes light up because you, as the parent, are their world. I love watching how each of my children discover the world, how each are so different in their development, in how they learn. And now, as they’re starting to get a bit older, seeing how their relationships are developing and how much they care for each other (yes, they still fight - they are siblings after all!). But I love listening to them talk to each other and how my oldest watches out for the two younger ones and “teaches” them lessons I teach him. The most amazing thing I’ve found is how willingly and openingly they want to know more about God. It’s such a natural thing. (I’m an adult convert so sometimes I feel like I’m flying blind on raising them Catholic.) I love it. Though the thought of being pregnant at the moment makes me feel exhausted! :slight_smile:


#6

When we first got married, my wife only wanted to have 2 and not breastfeed. 5 breastfed kids later, she wouldn’t mind having another. Having kids is so much deeper than anything else. We don’t watch much TV anymore. Who needs it? It’s only a major distraction for us guys.


#7

It is amazing (in a sad way) how negative so many people are about children.

Before I met my husband I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids! Now I’d love to have a huge family! My girls really have added so much to our family and we couldn’t imagine it any other way now! Motherhood can be tough at times, but it is so joyful! Right now both girls are asleep at the same time, and my husband is asleep too (he just had knee surgery earlier today) and I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself because the apartment just seems too quiet!

I’ve struggled with this soooooooooo much! When I told my parents I was pregnant the second time I was terrified. My husband kept saying “you’re a married woman. If they’re not happy it’s none of their business!” And they were happy. Although they may think we’re a little bit crazy too!


#8

I have to disagree a bit. I can’t think of a time when we’ve ever made it easiER (it will never be what I call easy) on kids or on those who have them. — that might be resulting in a bit of backlash from those who do not have, and do not want, children.


#9

While my wife was pregnant, I spoke to her “belly” each day and night saying the same thing, “Hello baby (last name) this is your father, and I love you very much”. Some times I would use a paper towel tube for a magnifier. Seemed silly at the time, but we had fun with it.
My son was born by ceserian while my wife was unconscious. Once the Dr.s got him out he screamed, and screamed and screamed. The nurses cleaned him up, and put him on a table an invited me over to meet my son - who was screaming.
I said “Hello baby (last name) this is your father, and I love you very much” He stopped screaming immediately, and although his neck muscles would not work, he tried to turn his head in my direction, and my heart melted. Love begins in the womb.


#10

An alternative take on the joys of children:

  1. For those who say how great it is to have no kids, I ask: Where will you spend Christmas? Thanksgiving? Any holiday…when you’re 70 or 75? “With friends?” No, b/c the friends will be with their grown children & grandchildren. Those without children will very likely inevitably spend those holidays alone, most likely late in life. Sad.

  2. For that matter, I know lots of people who say, “kids will crimp my style!” Know what? None of those people’s “style” involves, say, “Vail this weekend and Monaco next weekend.” These “style mavens” don’t know what style is.

  3. Also, periodically you read in newspapers about old folks who get scammed, perhaps by “travelers” (i.e. someone who sells them ‘driveway sealant’ for $5000 which is actually worthless oil) or whatever. Read those stories – inevitaby the story says something like,“Mrs. X lived alone since her husband died…” In other words, the victims were childless, b/c children – grown children, that is, generally look in on mom & dad, check up on them, etc, .make sure the roof is in one piece, etc. Those who raise kids get the ancillary benefit of help as they get on in life. Those without kids…become targets. Sorry. Life is nasty to the childless elderly.

The family unit is a great model for many more reasons than because kids can hug mom & dad (although that’s awesome too), it’s because the model works in practice too.

It’s more than “raising kids.” It’s “generations helping each other.”

-VdT


#11

VdT, very valid point and one close to my heart at the moment. I grew up surrounded by extended family (my husband only his immediate family, same town). Now, however, we live about 1 1/2 hours away. I've been feeling called to move back - something I never thought I'd do - but for exactly the reasons you state. To take care of my family, to be there for them. And hopefully to lead them to Christ (I'm the only Catholic in my family, and in most likelyhood the only practicing Christian of any kind).

But your post is so true. However, in today's society, we still have our older folks being tucked away so there's still an issue. But that doesn't mean I want that for MY family. Anyway, don't want to get off topic!


#12

Their sweet little cheeks are so round and plump and kissable!
Little fingers and toes, little voices, little round bellies, so cute!
Watching them master skills is amazing and exhilarating.
Pure joy is experienced while nursing or cuddling them.
Even on my worst day as a mother, it is ten times better than my best day prior to motherhood!!!
They make for good company, and that is even if we are not engaged in mutual activity.
I love to sit and just watch them play.
My DD5 and DS2 love each other dearly and are very affectionate, almost like little puppies that like to play and sleep all roly-poly together. LURVE it!
Their tiny little eyes and precious little ears absorb everything we parents do and they make us be better people because of the trust they place in us.
I love sitting down to a healthy dinner as a family (a nightly ritual for our young family) and watching my children dig in with relish and eat till their little tummies are satisfied. I love cooking and so I love to see them enjoy my cooking. It is even better than seeing my husband enjoy his meal.
I never have to worry about being lonely or bored, because there is always someone or something to attend to.
Children smile SOOO often and it is amazing to see their smile reach their eyes and light up their face. And their little giggles and deep belly laughs…priceless.

Thanks for this thread. I already thank God daily for allowing me to become a mother, but sometimes I am truly in wonder of His wisdom for creating the family and children.


#13

Remember folks…your kids (and I am a parent too) are cute and wonderful to you…not always (sometimes not ever) to anyone else. I can understand those who don’t like kids. It usually stems from people: 1) Not controlling their kids. 2) Not getting that kids are meant to be everywhere. I’ve had a perfectly planned anniversary dinner ruined by a family with two small kids screaming, yelling, whining, throwing things etc. at a restaurant where it was clear was not meant for children. Let me drop some clues on young couples. When people are dropping $100, even $200-plus on dinner for two it’s so they can get away from kids, not be around them.


#14

Wow, what a downer post! :(:shrug:
Just because we adore our own children does not mean that we are inconsiderate of childless couples or those out for anniversary dinners. Don’t ruin this lighthearted thread just because you feel the need to scold some anonymous couple who ruined your anniversary dinner. Good grief. The OP started this thread because we all get so tired of this kind of attitude being the predominant one in our society. I guess it was only a matter of time before someone had to arrive here and remind how awful ‘other people’s children’ are. Thanks for the reminder.:mad:


#15

It’s really sad when you’re scared to tell Catholic grandparents because you know they’ll be obviously disappointed. :frowning: From agnostics or atheists, you might expect it, but practicing Catholics, not so much.


#16

Nice story!!!:heart:


#17

More reasons kids are great--

-The way they make you feel when they randomly say they love you or tell you you're the best mommy/daddy in the WORLD!! This morning, I got a big kick out of my 3 year old saying, "I LIKE you Mommy!!!" :) I really get a boost when my teenager gives me a random "Love you, Mom!!!"

-How they're so receptive to Jesus when you teach them. My little one talks about Jesus like he knows Him personally. As we're going into Mass, he says, "We're going to see Jesus-- Yay!!!!!" :)

-Their fuzzy little heads and soft little cheeks. Just touching my children's heads makes me supremely happy.

-I don't think I'd be a happy person if I were childless.


#18

he’s right though. Some parents are inconsiderate of the noise and distraction that their children can be. maybe this is not the place to state it, but it’s true.

I love having children in my life. They are loving, sweet, beautiful and they give my life meaning. I would be very lonely without them.

I look forward to our future together. I will always have something to do :slight_smile:


#19

Well I miss the joy of having them. Never had any of my own. Personal choice…I think it’s important to have a father for them who will stick around. Maybe someday I’ll adopt maybe not. It’s really up to GOD making my finances in better shape…I’ve done all I can do. I would miss doing a lot of stuff I’m into though if I did have them. Not sure I want to go through the whole pregnancy thing…it all looks rather miserable. :confused:


#20

I don't have kids, yet, but I have always wanted a big family. I know everyone used to laugh when I was 8 and said I wanted 12 kids but I still feel that way.

I love how my cousins just love me and know they can count on me even when I am unsure. I love how my god-nephew (my sister's godson) experiences new things and laughs and tries to imitate things. I love his adventurous spirit, he hates being strapped into a stroller because then he can't look around as he likes. He has no sense of danger or total trust because if you are carrying him he is always trying to spin this way and that, no flinching no hesitation, he expects that he won't be dropped.


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