All the single ladies ... and men

I saw this question on CM back when I tried online dating…and I thought it would be interesting to post it here too. So…

1- What turns you on in your quest of Mr or Mrs Right?
2- What turns you off?

It’s time to be honest y’all. :slight_smile:

I’ve realized turn off/on might be too sexually connoted :blush:, autrement dit, what are your Green and Red flags ?

I get what you meant! :smiley:

I’m married now, so I don’t know if I can contribute… but heck, I’m going to anyway.

Green flags:
-Was committed to Faith
-Was committed to Family
-Had a sense or humor!

Red flags:
-Misinformed about Faith and unwilling to learn.
-took himself too seriously
-Unable to carry out a conversation


Green light–he’s Catholic, handsome, mannerly, taller than me, knows how to sing, can dance, can cook.

Red light–no faith whatever, shorter than me, smokes, doesn’t follow through with his promises, lies.

Pas de problème, Elisabeth, nous avons compris ce que vous vouliez dire! :slight_smile: So, I guess my green flags are that he’s Catholic, intelligent, kind, loves his family, has a good sense of humor, and treats other people extremely well. My red flags are if he has contempt for religion (does not have an open mind), is crude, selfish, thinks too highly of himself/plays hard to get, or is emotionally needy.

Green light: Catholic, polite, faithful to me and our kids, honest, intelligent and friendly. I hope we grow in our faith together, and be each other’s safe place to fall.

Deal breakers: not Catholic, disagrees with Church teachings for whatever reason, control freak, stalker, abusive, dismissive of me and my needs, smokes, arrogant and a blabbermouth. Hey, i’d be, ahem, peeved if he told everyone stuff that was supposed to remain between us.

If by “single” you mean unmarried, than I qualify…


-Christian, preferably Catholic
-intelligent and wise
-out-going and talkative (communication is the key!)
-respectful to women
-family oriented

  • being comforting, lending a shoulder to cry on when you’re sad
    -passionate, caring, understanding, loving and a bit of spontaneity :wink:


-selfishness, shallowness

  • being cold or uncaring
    -immorality/ lack of belief in God or the Church
    -excessive drinking or smoking
    -drug use
  • thinking you’re better than others


Red Flag: Seems comfortable with mortal sin.
Treats Confessional like a drive thru.
Doesn’t even attempt to battle impurity.

This has been the demise in all my relationships. They want sex and I want to know where my ring is lol. I have a 12 year old daughter that I have to set the example for in terms of purity. I always tell her that “prude” is short for “prudent”.


Catholic, humble, kind, chaste, prudent. :wink:


Not religious, arrogant, cruel, okay with sexual sin, imprudent…

I’m married now and I didn’t convert to the faith until I was engaged to my husband. It’s interesting noting the old green and red lights when it came to relationships and what I consider green and red lights now post conversion.
Though seeing I’m married it doesn’t really apply. Oh…I will post anyway! :smiley:


Green Light:

Tall and lean but trim
Can make me laugh
Has at least a job but preferably a career
Kind and respectful
Has is own friends and interests separate from me

Red Light:

Too materialistic
Disrespectful and selfish
Substance abuse
Short, pudgy and/or tattoos.
No drive and no goals in life

Post Conversion:

*Note…all previous rules apply in addition to these new ones…

Green Light:

Family man…wants a family

Red Light:

Sexually Immoral
Follows no rules but his own


I’ve seen some interesting replies. It’s actually good to have point of views from Kelfa and Ophelia who are married now. Thank you girls! :slight_smile:

Honestly, I don’t like having a set of red and green flags. I believe that there is a way I will know that I have found my woman. I don’t think that its a good thing to have too many requirements. Its just a feeling you get deep down from knowing someone. There are perfectly good women out there that I just get a bad feeling about.

That being said, it would be really nice to have someone lol. At 25 years old, I feel behind the curve in finding a wife. A woman in my life would bring stability that Ive been lacking in my life for many years.

Green Flags:
*]Catholic or at least religious
*]Tall and athletic
*]Trust worthy
*]Animal person

Red Flags:
*]A liar
*]Treats his family poorly
*]A cheater
*]Drinks too much
*]Does drugs


Interesting perspective.

I think this just means that what gives you that good or bad feeling.

If a man disrespects women or degrades his mom, that’s a no-go. Same for being negative or rude towards Church and just other people’s beliefs in general.

Yes I understand the confusion. I did not mean to write unfaithful. What I ment to write was NOT UNFAITHFUL. Sometimes I think faster than I write and not everything gets written down.

:slight_smile: Yeah that was funny!

And Shana I have the exact same flags as you do.
Except for the smoking. I’ve figured not too long ago that I could make a tiny :slight_smile: exception because smoking is an habit that can be changed when the rest can’t.

The reason smoking is on my list is because I come from a family of smokers with me being a non-smoker. Granted for the right guy I might over look it provided he has expressed a desire to quit at some point.

hmmm i think your questions is a little wierd

because why you want to know this? why do you ask the people why they feel this?

i think maybe you should just pray and maybe then you gone to find out the answers you need. but some times we use all the people together to find the will for God. and He bless other people for us to see truths we don see.

so because, i think this type of question is wierd. but God bless you with lots of help from others people here.

i hope you gone to find that type of person you really love in your life. God bless you

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