My husband has withheld intimacy for about 7 years. But ever since I told him I was pregnant with our first child in 2001, he has treated me like a leper. He blamed many things - stress, my becoming a mother, my no longer being beautiful, etc - but none were medical. I believe that the issue stemmed from my refusal to bring a third party (couple) back into the marriage.
Now I had done “swinging” because my mother taught me a “good and proper wife” does what her husband says. He wanted to do it, so I agreed. I was raped in the process, and when I informed my husband he told me to keep quiet so he could continue to “do” the guy’s wife. That’s how much he valued me.
I confessed to a priest already, and have come to terms and peace, as I truly thought I was doing what a wife was supposed to do.
So now fast forward back to current times. He agreed to have intercourse to conceive our son, but after that, nothing. He had fallen in love with someone else, but didn’t physically act on it. But he himself has admitted that he no longer wants me no matter what I look like and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Despite this, he and I are good friends and he is a good dad. He wants permission for “one-night-stands” just to get his kicks, but says he doesn’t want to leave me or the children.
If I agree to this, am I as guilty as he is in allowing it? I have no means to provide for our kids, and I place very little value in myself that I would be able to provide for them or even get another husband.
But I don’t want to further destroy my soul, as prayer is one of the few things that has gotten me through so much pain. So, is this my sin or just his?