Alternatives to Life in a Convent?


#1

Hi everyone. I am not called to be a nun in a convent because I have mental disorders and so I am looking at alternatives to that. If I could, I'd be a consecrated virgin but I can't do that because I lost my virginity at an early age. I have also considered a 2nd or 3rd order type of organization but their meeting places are rather far away and I don't know if I could be a member and not attend all the meetings or not. I want to somehow just give my entire life to God and devote it completely to Him. I am pretty sure that my vocation is not marriage (although I am in a relationship) but my vocation also is not the religious life so I can't be a nun. Does anyone have any ideas?


#2

If I could, I'd be a consecrated virgin but I can't do that because I lost my virginity at an early age.

Secondary virginity is no joke. Don't worry about it.

Moving to where there is a good therapeutic spiritual community is a good idea.

You also could look up borderline personality disorder, and take a look at some of the negative characteristics, to be more understanding about what areas in your life you should work on changing. One characteristic I find particularly disturbing is the constant changes and contradictions. (I live with one) For instance, giving and selfish, forgiving and bringing up old resentments, all in the same hour. :banghead:


#3

Oh okay. Well, the things that I have read online about Consecrated Virginity says that you have to be physically a virgin in order to be a Consecrated Virgin.


#4

Speak to your spiritual advisor about it. There is nothing wrong with taking personal vows and becoming an integral member of the parish community. You may be the kind of person more suited to such a life. Fewer distractions and negative influences. :cool:


#5

How about a community that allows you to live at home? The Servants of the Sacred Cross seem like a nice community.

thesacredcross.org/main.htm


#6

holly

Jesus has answers to all your questions. I advise you to visit him frequently in the most blessed sacrament and talk to him.

I will put you in my prayers,
densy


#7

There are third orders that meet only once or twice a month your ministry can be done in your parish. After profession you can see about starting a Fraternity in your parish or somewhere closer to you. If you are looking at third orders than you may wish to stay close to Christ through the Blessed Virgin and she will guide you to your answers through the help of your spiritual directors. If you are not willing to go the extra mile than you need to think about what Christ did for us. If it is that you are unable to go the extra mile than know that you may already be doing everything you can do.

As an aside - if you do not feel called to marriage - don't you feel it is cruel to be in a relationship.


#8

I don’t know if this bears on your situation, but a community of nuns my wife and I have long been friends with, professed a candidate who had once been married. ( Now widowed). Together with her son, she brought the gifts to the Altar for the Mass associated with her profession. Her profession consisted of the traditional Evangelical Counsels. Poverty, Chastity, Obedience.

Why not talk to a Priest and get his thoughts on your situation, and the possibility of becoming a Consecrated Virgin. Also look into other areas where you might devote yourself to service .

You have my prayerful best wishes.


#9

[quote="PhilipCal, post:8, topic:211396"]
I don't know if this bears on your situation, but a community of nuns my wife and I have long been friends with, professed a candidate who had once been married. ( Now widowed). Together with her son, she brought the gifts to the Altar for the Mass associated with her profession. Her profession consisted of the traditional Evangelical Counsels. Poverty, Chastity, Obedience.

Why not talk to a Priest and get his thoughts on your situation, and the possibility of becoming a Consecrated Virgin. Also look into other areas where you might devote yourself to service .

You have my prayerful best wishes.

[/quote]

It is not possible for someone who is not a physical virgin to become a Consecrated Virgin. You cannot offer God what you do not have, this is according to Canon Law.

One can take personal vows and live as a religious in one's own home without being attached to a community. I would also suggest Third Orders.


#10

Not arguing with your premise,merely passing on some information I felt might be helpful of our poster. This is why I also specifically suggested that she speak to a Priest. Third Orders are also a wonderful thought.


#11

[quote="DaughterOfMary6, post:9, topic:211396"]
One can take personal vows and live as a religious in one's own home without being attached to a community. I would also suggest Third Orders.

[/quote]

Do not forget about lay oblates and groups like Opus Dei.


#12

Ah, yes. I forget that they are a different category altogether. I always lump them with the Third Orders. :slight_smile:


#13

Hey everyone. I think I want to join a Carmelite Third Order. For the longest time I have really admired the Carmelites. Unfortunately, I am not sure that any exist in my neighborhood. I think the closest Carmelite convent in my area is like 100-200 miles away.


#14

Well, start talking to them, do your profession, and then you may find that it is your calling to open a Fraternity (sorry I do not know what the Carmelites call theirs) in your parish after profession. God does not give us callings because they are easy - He gives them because they are His will.


#15

[quote="DaughterOfMary6, post:12, topic:211396"]
Ah, yes. I forget that they are a different category altogether. I always lump them with the Third Orders. :)

[/quote]

All right.


#16

I know what it's like being told you can't join a convent because of mental disorders (plus ongoing problems connected to birth defects). While I am looking into consecrated virgin, taking personal vows, entering an oblate program or just living a single life for Christ are all options.
I pray that you will find the right direction for you're life.


closed #17

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