Am I being arrogant or narcissistic?

Happy Easter everyone, my Easter so far has been quite confusing:

I was looking in the mirror before Easter Vigil and I was getting dressed and fixing my hair. I began to look at my face and make it decent, I wanted to be a “dashing gentleman” I thought. I started to make a “model” kind of face. Like this kind of face where the model is gazing and all and posing. I felt very good but at the same time felt like I was being arrogant or narcissistic, I was beginning to believe my face was perfect and perfectly chiseled and that “I’m OH so handsome” that “look at your gorgeous face” feeling.

This may be a bit subjective and silly sounding, but in the middle of this one moment I stopped because I felt wrong for doing so. In all seriousness is this pride/narcissism? Because Afterwards I felt bad and guilty, plus the fact I didn’t feel confortable receiving communion until I did mental gymnastics to say I was just doing what models do (I’m not a model) and if models can make that face it’s okay for me. I thought if it was sinful that I stopped immediately after so maybe it didn’t really count. On top of this I was really wanting to receive communion and I had JUST went to confession earlier the same day. I received Our Lord anyway even though I just felt wrong. Please give me as honest an answer as you can. I’m struggling with this.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. Our bodies are a temple! Decorate it in a way that is beautiful. God made us beautiful, so don’t feel bad about wanting to look nice or taking some pleasure out of looking nice.

However, we must guard against vanity. Don’t be so consumed with your image that you forget about what is truly important.

I love hoodies. and I’m not a teenager. I wear hoodies everywhere, even to the Church yes. (never with the hood on, of course). :slight_smile:

Why am I saying this? Because this lent (and yes maybe even a bit earlier), I thought to myself that it’s time to start wearing more serious clothes. This lent especially, I was brushing my teeth really really well before going to mass, and dressed in the finest clothes I have and even put on a little cream for my skin, because it makes my skin softer and it hides a bit my eye bags. Then when I looked in the mirror after clean shave and all of the above, I was pleased. I did look good. And I think it’s very traditional to dress nice for the Mass and respectful. If your purpose is to get noticed by people, then that would be a different story. St. Josef Maria Escriva was a very, VERY clean person.

It’s nothing wrong when you see yourself as a beautiful person. You should thank God for he created you. I also don’t think that goofing in front of a mirror would be a sin either (as long as it’s pure fun goofing, I do that too sometimes when I’m in a good mood, when I’m getting ready for work). The fact that you were thinking if you can go to communion or either you sinned mortaly… this is a pretty good pointer that it’s not a mortal sin, otherwise you’d know that what you are about to do is a grave matter and yet you would still freely choose to commit do the grave sin…

Maybe wait for another reply, but I hope this one helps you a bit too.

God bless, happy Easter! :slight_smile:

Arrogant, no. Narcissistic, yep. Preening like a model in front of a mirror is a little preoccupied with your looks. Although there is nothing wrong with noticing you are a handsome fellow, don’t dwell on it. It just gives you an excuse to think you are somehow better than people who were not blessed with your looks. People judge each other by their looks, which is a sin. Just be clean, combed hair, clean nails, neat clothes and no spinach in the teeth and you’re good. And give thanks to Our Lord that you aren’t disfigured.

This sounds rather scrupulous. Do you have these sorts of thoughts often? That something minor you’ve done is serious enough to refrain from communion?

Making a silly face in the mirror and telling yourself you are handsome is NOT narcissism.

You wanted to look good for a very special day of the holy year. You realize it bordered on self centered ideas, emphasis on YOU realized, no one told you that. You’re gonna be all right! Peace.

It’s only narcissistic if you write about it on a public forum.

But, we are all narcissists here.

Yeah, I also struggle with judging people based on looks and not on inner value and goodness. It’s not necessarily that I ignore or treat badly people who look average, but I have a past of wanting the company of other men who are attractive and giving them special treatment. This is related to my experience of same-sex attraction. It’s very superficial and I believe many who have these attractions make sure to look nice and dress nice and be very concerned about their appearance. That’s just what I’ve collected from experience though.

I copied myself later an did the whole model face and it was in more of a silly tone and motive like “I’m so handsome haha, such a funny model face”. But the first one that made me take pause was more real where I legitimately felt that narcissistic “fairest of them all” feeling without a silly tone. Scrupulosity may play a role in this as I am very concerned about moral theology and wether or not I am enabling my own sin or the sin of others. Even when the subject is not sinful. But this was too close to narcissism I feel, but there is a tug of confusion and shame of asking a priest right after I already went to confession. I’m definitely talking to my parish priest for direction on this whole dilemma.

Thanks for these replies, keep them coming if you have anything to add or respond to.

Lol :smiley:

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