Am I Being Scrupulous Here? (Contains Sexual Issue Question)

All right, so as I think I have said before, I deal with an addiction to masturbation, especially doing these online sexual role-playing games (think of it as being cybersex except is textual only and myself and the other participant use a made-up character, not ourselves).

Anyway, this past Sunday, I was at my house doing those sexual RPGs/masturbating. I finished as it were–I am not trying to be funny or cute here, just descriptive without being inappropriate. Soon afterward, I had Mass to attend–my parish is like four blocks from my house. So, I changed clothes, got ready, etc. and walked to the parish. I know I rinsed my fingers/hands at least once, but I worry that I somehow contaminated the Holy Water and that my hands were ‘unclean’ as it were (we have those small basins of Holy Water at each entrance to the sanctuary so that one can dip their fingers and make the Sign of the Cross).

Am I being Scrupulous here? Should I bring this up in my next Confession (obviously, I will confess the masturbation/lust/being a scandal to others online)? Priests tell me I go into too much detail anyway (and that is plural–several Priests, possibly every Priest I have received the Sacrament of Reconciliation from, have said this), but I don’t want to invalidate a Confession by not giving a key point or something.

Make sure to Wash your hands before touching anything. Try to concentrate upon the mass and it’s meaning and not the sin. When you make yourself feel unworthy of forgiveness you set yourself up to keep commiting that same sin. Look at your masturbation as abusing the holy body your Savior gave you. To masturbate is to waste the life giving force within you. Love yourself spiritually enough to not want to displease God. It is also preoccupation that is in need of therapy and treatment. It is a form of OCD, but this does not mean that you are not sinning, you are. Try to talk to a psychologist about why you masturbate and a priest. They can help you. If you ask the priest to pray for your intention to stop sinning, I’m sure he will.

good post! I would also say, do something so you’re unable to log on to those websites on your computer. In other words…avoid occasions where you’re tempted to sin, and then you’ll sin less also.

As far as your confessions are concerned, maybe it would be best to start concentrating on *why *you sinned, not the actions which are proving to be TMI. Behind every action is something deeper. This especially true of masturbation and sex addiction. Believe it or not, but your masturbation habit isn’t the worst sin you’re committing right now.

What is the worst sin I am committing then? I am asking honestly, not being silly or flippant.

As someone who had to find out for himself all I can say is that if you’re serious about recovery and remaining faithful then the Spirit will reveal it to you in time. When you discover it, confess it then. Until then, it sounds like you’ve got plenty of other battles to contend with, so don’t worry about it. Just remember that our God is a loving, forgiving God. I’m sure you think that provided this masturbation/sex addiction problem is alleviated then you’d be home-free, free from what you consider to be your major hindrance towards a more perfect relationship with God, and thus you could perhaps live more fully the ideas you’ve read about and talked about. The truth is, though, that there’s something in your heart which needs to be rooted out, and no one can do that but you with the aid of the Spirit.

Trust in God.

I have found that frequent prayerful time with the blessed sacrament, frequent confessions and remaining sober are the ONLY ways that I can avoid this sin. Weekly confession and daily adoration at a minimum as well as never getting drunk or high is the only solution. I know that may seem obsessive but if you are serious and want to change I grantee it will work. I am praying for you. Please pray for me.

But should I tell the Priest my concern about the Holy Water issue at my next Confession? When I went to dip my fingers make the Sign of the Cross, I worried that my hands might be dirty from earlier masturbation back at my house, so I rinsed them (I used a nearby drinking water fountain to rinse my fingers since it would just drain), but I still worried, but I dipped and made the Sign of the Cross anyway.

See, Confessions are very difficult for me. I always worry that I either didn’t go into enough detail or that I was somehow misleading (i.e. by talking real fast or something, or giving deceptive details or worrying about incorrect information or something).

You’re not in any danger of scrupulousity here. This is a plain old-fashioned case of guilt.:wink: You are aware your hands are instruments of mortal sin and you feel guilty, dirty, unworthy. :eek: Holy water is just that — holy, blessed.
Stop…cold turkey. Distract yourself. Try exercising strenuously, like athletes do. Avoid occasions of temptation. Put tempting thoughts from your mind and avoid even suggestions of the temptation whenever they appear. You can be victorious here. Pray for help and go to frequent communion. This sounds so physical and probably is more a temptation for men than women. So maybe strenuous physical activity is your ticket for more self-control. Don’t give the enemy an opening. He really excels at sins of the flesh. Kick him out of your life. The holy water is making him uncomfortable when you touch it and results in you feeling guilty. Go ahead and bring some holy water home with you. Sprinkle it around your home, on your bed and furnishings! Cross yourself with it every day as often as you like! :thumbsup:

I won’t be subscribing to this thread. So God bless and help you. He will.

My Scrupulous concerns are not about the original sin (masturbation/lust/etc.), but I am worried that my hands were unclean (physically I mean) when I touched the Holy Water and did I sin here?

EVERY time before you go to Church WASH your habds with soap nand water. No one wants to think of bodily fluids mixing with the holy water. So if it is uncomfortable for you to only rinse your fingers…WASH them with soap and water. The fact that you are trying to repent for the sinful act is a good start. But as it was posted above, terminate your association with the website that brings about the occasion to sin. Find out WHY you fall into these patterns. There is something MORE than the physical lust and act of masturbation going on in your subconscience. Find out what it is. And try not to do it again…it is as an alcoholic lives. If you want true recovery make it a point to say to yourself, ‘’ I WONT DO THIS. I DON’T NEED TO. I DON’T WANT TO!!’ and don’t. pray, pray, pray. Stay off the website!!
God be with you, nsper


I hope you won’t take offense at this, though you probably will, so I should offer my sincerest apology in advance, but you should seriously consider finding a good Catholic psychologist in your area. This scrupulosity is eating you alive, and you can’t go on like this without something horrible happening.

If it’s any consolation, someone once told me to go see a psychologist, and I got very angry at that person, but then realized that he was right.

Pray about it.

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