My dh and I have been arguing a lot over his mother. His mother married a man who was over 20 years younger than her and then he divorced her this past year. When he did, he left her with the little girl, her natural granddaughter, that they adopted to care by herself. He has adandoned the little care but cares for her financially. He pays the child support. This little child is physically and mentally challenge. She is a hand full and is 8 years old with a capacity of a 4 year old. Anyway, my MIL was told to down size when she divorced and was going on one income. She did not want to do that and stayed in the house with the pool. She just refinanced it. Her ex adviced her to move into an apartment and she took it as an insult.
Anyway, after the divorce, she had some money. She borrowed from friends. She borrowed large amounts. She borrowed in the thousands from two friends and her sister. She took the money and I don’t know what she did with it. I think it went to pay for her lawyers’ fee. She told her friends that once she got her income tax she would pay them back. She received over $8000.00 in income tax and had enough to pay all three of the people she owed. She paid her sister, but did not pay the other two. She told me she couldn’t for she needed the money to live off of and eat. But what I saw was that she was renovating the interior of the house and the exterior of the house. She bought so many things. She bought her daughter many expensive toys. Toys that I would not buy my daughter and we earn more than she does. They are just too expensive. Anyway, she used up all the money and now she is retired with only Social Security and works less than part time hours when they can use her as a paramedic. She complains to her son, my dh, of not having money for gas, for food and etc. My dh just put gas in her truck. He gave her a $100.00 grocery card. We paid $250.00 toward her attorney for she thinks she can get more money off her ex and needed it to go back to court. I know there will be more attorney’s fee. She is now complaining that her pool pump is not working and it will cost $80.00. She told us that she wanted to go to the movies on our daughter’s birthday, yesterday, to celebrate it which we found odd since she claims to have no money, but we said she must have money if she wants to do this, so we said we would meet her. I went to eat with my daughter and my niece and my dh went to meet his mother and she had the nerve to tell him that he would have to pay her ticket and her daughters to see the movie for she had money. I was upset. I’m I overreating. I think she is taking advantage of us. She is going through our savings. We paid for locks to be changed in her house when she got divorce for she had no money and that was $280.00. This month we were short on paying one of our bills and had to go into our savings. I think it is just wrong. My dh and I are arguing. Then she also has us taking care of her daughter. When she has to work, she wants us to pick her up and bring her back to her house which is one hour away. So my husband is always gassing up his car. My dh and I are both physically disabled and it is very difficult for us to care for this little girl. She has rammed into me many times and aggravated my back so bad. I have chronic back problems and rods in my back. She has been told not to do this, but she is mentally challenged.
My dh said he will talk to his mother about asking for money all the time, but I don’t know when. Am I being selfish or should we continue to support this woman because she is his mother?