Hi. alright so i will be 16 in a few weeks. There is this guy that i have been friends with for many years and since high school started our friendship has gotten significantly closer. I’ve always liked him but this year i have found myself more attracted to him and I’m sure i’ve been flirting with him even though im not purposefully trying too. I can’t help but think of him all of the time. I don’t want to be too quick to love or anything but I’ve known him a long while and i can’t help but wonder and feel like he could be the one i marry someday. We are both very devoted Catholics and we are pretty active in the church with youth group. We go to Wednesday morning Mass every week before school and I see him on Sundays at our youth group. I would love to date him in the future either senior year or after high school because i know how important the season of friendship is and i want to get to know him more now as a good friend before getting into a relationship.
Our youth group does these two retreats every year one being Steubenville and the other one the youth leaders put together more out in the middle of nowhere where its just our entire youth group which is really nice. So this guy and I are on these retreats every year along with other clsoe friends of course. I have realized though that every time we have a retreat, we become closer. Ive gotten closer to God too which I’m sure He helsp a lot but yea we just become closer and closer friends. many times when im with Him i get this slight warm pleasant (wet) feeling down under. only very slight though and im not thinking of anything sexual or anything like that at all, it just happens which i think is normal.
Alright so coming to the question. I started mid-October writing letters to him. Every night in a notebook. I love writing and many nights i can get carried away writing those letters. I’ve mentioned lots of times how i felt about him and how he’s changed my life. I really mean it when i tell him how he’s changed my life. Before this year, I had been a preacticing CAtholic and gone to youth group and Mass every Sunday any all that, but I’ve never felt like i had a good relationship with the Lord. This year though my faith has increased significantly. I am very much closer to Him than I have ever felt. I know all this is because of the guy i like because he motivates and inspires me to want to become closer to Him and be a better person. I want to becoome a holy and godly woman so I can have the best chance I can have at a future with any man i spend my life with and a future in heaven. I want to do everything I can to help my friend get there too. I am at joy and peace when i am around him and he is one of the very few i trust with my life. secrets and everything. In my letters though I found myself mentioning how i think im falling in love with him (and im hoping when i date him ill know much better) but thn ive been writing how i actually love him. And i don’t know if its dangerous or something to be saying that to myself. like i said i want to wait and stay friends but i just don’t want to be too quick to love. I pray about this every night and Ive been doing chaplet of dinve mercies every morning and night. I really do like this guy and i know he likes me a lot too. we’re both kind of on the quieter side but i’ve caught him staring at me many times and when there’s other people in a group he’s constantly sneaking glances at me. Is it alright to be feeling all of this at my age?
Thanks, God Bless you all!
p.s. i apologize for making this so long. i get carried away when i write.