Am I called to be single?

Is my vocation to just be single? Not a nun, just to live alone? On and off in my life I have horrible nausea that lasts for months, they usually come after I am stressed/worried/depressed. Right now I’m having one. It hit me - how can I ever have a family with a health like this? What husband will put up with a wife that is sick all the time from the go. How will I ever be able to endure pregnancy, just the thought of how much nausea I will probably have considering I’m so often nauseated without being pregnant, scares me… So I guess I’m not supposed to get married. Yet, my faith is often not strong enough, so I don’t know if being a nun is a vocation for me either… Is there a possibility to have a vocation to be single? I deep inside want to have a family, yet there are so many obstacles, maybe this is God’s way of saying no? I am 20, never had a boyfriend, most of my friends are in longterm relationships, and the ones who are not are single by choice. Even if some guy shows interest, I back away, to save him from the trouble. Wish I was energized and didn’t feel nausea, but God gives everyone different cards in life… So is it possible I am simply destined to live a single life or would it be a sin/considered selfish?

I think right now, your priority needs to be sorting out your health. Have you spoken to your doctor and/or a psychologist about the stress-related nausea? If it’s lasting for months, especially as young as you still are, this is certainly not something you should ignore.

Keep praying, and keep working on your spiritual life, as well, so you can grow closer to God. Put Him first. But also be persistent in getting help for your health problems. If you can get that issue under better control, your future will likely begin to get clearer.

Remember, too, that God doesn’t always call the equipped–He equips the called.

Meaning that if you are called to marriage, God will give you the graces you need to handle that in spite of any difficulties, when the time comes. If you are called to the religious life, He will give you the graces you need to handle that, as well. Be willing to go where He calls, do what is in your power to do to get there… and leave the rest up to Him.

Will pray that you can find the help you need for this issue. :gopray2:

ETA: Fear about pregnancy does not necessarily mean you are not called to marriage. Be careful about that–life choices generally should be made for positive reasons, not out of fear of what may or may not ever happen.

Thanks for your reply. I have went to several doctors (more than I can count) they always take blood tests, feel my stomach, check bloodpressure, heart etc and never find anything wrong so they just say I might have a sensitive stomach or that it might be anxiety/stress related.


I agree with the previous posters; making life decisions because of fear can cause problems. As far as the nausea goes, this may be more of a mental thing.
Anyway, you’re young yet; never give up hope that God’s will will be done. My parents didn’t meet until Mom was nearing age 24, right after she had given up looking for Mr. Right. Turns out that’s just what needed to happen! If a guy shows interest, be yourself, and don’t hide your problems - what is more beautiful than a man who accepts you as yourself? Maybe you will become a nun, but nuns aren’t just women who couldn’t find a guy. Fear not; His Will be done. :slight_smile:

^^^ This is a good post.
But I will add, please do no think of the religious life as a fallback position.
If you are truly called to be a Sister, then great.
But it’s never "be married or be a nun.
Plenty of people live the single live and are happy as can be.
At any rate, it’s a biut early to worry about it now.
Take care of your health.

Have you been tested for food allergies? Celiac disease?

You’re called to be single right now. God’s timeline for each of us is different. There are many priests who don’t receive their call until their 30s or 40s today. You’re young (seriously, I didn’t date anyone until I met my wife, and I was 25 at the time). Relax. You should focus on your health issues right now, anyway. Focus on God and let Him take care of things. He’ll make it clear to you what He needs you to do.

IMHO, this quote is the indication of your calling. Don’t pay any attention to obstacles. Follow God, He will lead you to your family.

You really should be talking to a Psychiatrist. It is very possible that a lot of your problems may be solved by either therapy or a non addictive anti anxiety medication. (Or both) Talk to a Psychiatrist and don’t depend on the internet for medical or psychological advice. Talk to a professional.

Get a referral to a Gastroenterologist for your stomach. I have a relative who had similar stomach problems. Two low cost Rx’s was all it took to solve the problem. There are many medications that can alleviate similar stomach problems. Talk to a Gastroenterologist who knows what he is talking about instead of regular MD. A “nervous stomach” should not be affecting the daily life of a 20 year old.

Talking to a Priest or a Nun for spiritual direction is something you should do. Everyone should do it. They may be able to reveal things about yourself that would never occur to you otherwise.

Good Luck, and remember…Talk to professionals that know what they are talking about. A Priest, a Gastroenterologist, and a Psychiatrist may be just the ticket.

No it would not be selfish to live or even want to live a single life that is not religious life. I too am single and wonder if I am to be married or just live a single life. However I know that ultimately I don’t know until I know. So right now I am single so right now I am called to live a single life. If that changes in the future, so be it.

Thanks everyone for your help. You are right, I should just keep praying and focus on my health. Guess I feel a bit abnormal being single for so long, and worrying.

By the way, 20 isn’t old. You still have at least 70 years of life left to live. By my calculation, that’s a long time to meet Mr. Right or to decide on living a celibate life. There is no rush.

Focus on your self and getting better. If you meet a guy that seems interesting, there is nothing wrong with asking him out. I’ve never met a guy who wouldn’t be flattered. There are a lot of shy guys who are nice guys. The two often go together. Just some friendly advice.

But taking care of your issues should be the top priority.

I’m 29, not married, only dated 1 person. Trust me, you are just fine! Plus, just think of it as a blessing because you are not spending time with people who aren’t right for you. If you are like me and wanting a moral catholic man, they take some time to find (same for moral catholic women). Unfortunately our culture doesn’t look kindly on abstinence before marriage… :frowning: Patience is definitely necessary.

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