Am I committing adultery?

I am a married woman. I have a special friendship with a male friend wherein we hug, hold hands, kiss. We really like each other’s company, however I’m feeling guilty that I am hurting my husband because he does not know about this relationship, Sex is not involved with this man, but I’m worried that I am committing adultery by my actions.

Thank you.

Dear M,

While genital sex is not involved in this relationship, the relationship sounds definitely sexual. You are offering an intimacy that you owe exclusively to your husband. Certainly, there are hugs and kisses among friends and family in most people’s lives that are simply expressions of affection and are purely platonic. But in our culture, holding hands is something that ordinarily only lovers do.

How comfortable would you be if your husband was involved with some other woman in this way? To offer such intimacy to a man other than your husband IS seriously sinful. It is a betrayal of your exclusive commitment to him.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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