[quote="hamburglar, post:1, topic:214524"]
I feel like I'm never going to find a wife. I'm 21 years old and thought I was going to marry my girlfriend, but she broke up with me a year ago and now has a restraining order on me. The current girl I'm interested in has a boyfriend and wants nothing to do with me. I know it is not right for me to try courting her and it is hard knowing I don't have a chance with her. I've been to the mental hospital for almost committing suicide. I've almost flunked out of school. My life has been a wreck because of my failure with women.
I'm going to graduate soon, and feel like I have little chance of meeting people outside of college. I have a hard enough time meeting girls in school, where that is supposed to be the easiest place to meet them. I have almost no friends as well.
It's as if I'm destined for failure. I know that good can come out of suffering, but I just can't see it. I see myself getting married and having children, but with my failures, it doesn't look like it's going to happen.
First of all, I rarely hear about anyone around your age getting married. It may be a year from now, it may be 10, you never know. You can't despair at such a young age.
Thing is, getting married won't fix your emotional problems. In fact, if you enter into marriage with such issues, you will have a much harder time in married life. For you to be a solid father and husband, you will have to be mentally sound and self confident. No girl is going to be interested in someone who seems like an emotional wreck, and personally I wouldn't want a daughter of mine to date someone who was more concerned about finding a girlfriend/wife than taking care of themselves. Solidify yourself, and prepare yourself for the responsibility of having a wife and raising kids.
Your first priority is to clean up, and stop yearning after women you can't have. The fact that your girlfriend had a restraining order put on you is a major issue. That will not be good for any future relationships. A guy who doesn't accept a no is a SERIOUS red flag in my eyes. I've always warned my sisters about such people, and you would do well to not make that kind of impression.
I hope I am not being too harsh here, but I think this needs to be said. There are billions of women in the world, and you will have plenty of opportunities to meet some of them. The important thing is to be able to let go. Life is full is disappointments and suffering. If you can't handle breaking up with your girlfriend, how can you handle the death of a son or daughter, or a sick wife, or being fired, or anything to do with marriage and family support?
Examine yourself, and see where you are going wrong. Correct that, and put your past behind you. You want to be the kind of man a woman will look up to, not the kind of man that requires a woman to be happy.
[quote="Karamazov, post:2, topic:214524"]
If you're unhappy being single you'll be unhappy being married. I've been both (single and married, now single again/divorced). Seriously, forget about women. They'll eat your lunch and pop the bag.
EDIT: You're also only 21. You're worrying about this too much. But I was a lot like you at your age; constantly wondering if I'd meet "the right one". I ended up meeting a lot of wrong ones before I finally realised I was happy being single. It's much less hassle.
Don't take out your resentment on women. So you've gone through a divorce? Fine, but that has nothing to do with the value of marriage.