Am I giving my lesbian sister too much support?


I’m 31-year-old single woman and practicing Catholic and I have a question about my little sister (23). She (who my parents also raised Catholic) “came out” two years ago as a lesbian. She somehow got into an abusive relationship with an older woman who raped her. Now she is in an actually pretty stable relationship with her “partner,” Angie, who seems to be a good and decent person. My sister also has bipolar issues.

Anyway, how are we to treat family members who profess to be gay or lesbian and are openly living with their partners? I do visit both on occasion and take them to dinner, shopping, etc. However, they both know I disapprove of their arrangement. Should I be showing more disapproval towards them both? I think that if they ever decide to have a “commitment ceremony” I would not attend. However, although I believe it is very wrong, they do seem happy and my sister does appear more stable.

Any advice on how to handle this? My mother and father were shocked and hurt at the news, as was I. However, she is my sister, and is not always in the best mental health and so needs my support on some level. Any advice would be much appreciated.

God bless you!



Dear Beth,

When you communicated your disapproval, I hope that you explained why. Your sister sounds rather fragile. She is an adult and as such, a free agent. You know the situation better than I. Certainly, you need to be charitable. Where charity ends and enabling begins can be a thin line. You will just have to deal with this on-going tension and continually pray for guidance. Bring this before Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and stay focused on Him. It is imperative that you do this. You both are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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