I’m 14 years old and I’ve recently been trying to improve my spiritual life and strengthen my faith.
I’ve always been a believing Catholic, but its only now that I’m taking my faith more seriously. I’ve been going to mass more, praying more, reading the bible more and I’ve recently been to confession. I’ve struggled with a particular sin thats been causing me a bit of bother (masturbation), but I’ve been making progress and haven’t commited this sin since I went to confession last.
Recently though I’ve been troubled by thoughts that come into my head after I pray at night in bed. I usually pray the Rosary every night, then I read a couple of passages from the bible and then I say my prayer to God the Father and give him thanks and ask him to bless various people around the world who need his help. But some nights I have really confusing thoughts about wheather I’m praying right and if I’m a real Christain or not. It gets to the point where I’m afraid to pray to God in case I make a mistake and if I should just give up. I start shaking and thinking angry and sad thoughts which make me cringe and then I start hitting myself and start crying. I begin to think wheather God has forgiven my mortal sins and if the Holy Spirit has somehow abandoned me. I really dont know what these feelings are and if they’re sinful or not. They might be some sort of scrupulosity but I really dont know. These episodes have happened a couple of times and I just hate them and want them to stop. Am I going crazy or is this normal for a teenager of my age?
I would be really glad of some advice.