Give you the short version…
Converted to Catholicism - 1991
Married to (name of DXH deleted) 1993
Had 2 more children - 1995 and 1997
Leave DXH because he is severely abusive to me and kids - 1998
Divorce is initiated by me and later dropped - 1999
DXH impregnates his paramour, who gives birth to his son, 2000
Divorce initiated by DXH and becomes finalized in 2002
DXH remarries 2002
Yours truly enters Navy 2006
Yours truly meets a (non Catholic) widower who treats me with respect 2006
Marriage before JP scheduled on 20 Dec 2007
I cannot bring myself to identify with the Catholic religion anymore, true, I did go to Mass in bootcamp, but that was the last time I did, I cannot bear walking into a Catholic church knowing I am a second class citizen for even THINKING about getting remarried. Yes I was a 19 year old kid who made a MISTAKE. and a BIG ONE. Must I pay for it the rest of my life before I can be saved.
I truly think God hates me. why else would my life be so full of big-time problems. Once again I am on the outside looking in and saying to myself "Man…"
I have nothing against the Church, I would come back if I could.