Ok so I have severe anxiety and I can’t tell if I actually sinned or is my mind playing tricks on me. I’m 19 but when I was 11 or 12 I started masturbating and looking at pornographic images. For a couple years i lived in ignorance not knowing my sins were mortal. Once I found out at age 15 I went into panic mode. I thought I was going to Hell. I had to wait months to go to confession. Once I did I told the priest I was impure with myself and looked at impure images. I was really nervous and embarrassed so I kept it vague. I found out it wasn’t a mortal sin because I did not know the severity of my actions. For most people the case would be closed, not for me. I STILL feel guilty. About a year before a confessed my sins I went to Confession at school. They were playing a power point asking questions like do you go to church and did you masturbate did you view porn? I can’t remember at this time if I knew what I was doing because it was like 4 and a half years ago. Before I discovered CAF i was on yahoo answers. Some people said that it is not sinful and some said it wasn’t so I was really confused. I can’t remember if I knew this while sitting in the confession service or if I didn’t. Should I re-confess this or is my anxiety playing tricks on me. Please help!
Go to confession twice a month (that’s a reasonable amount for anyone, struggling or not) and pray regularly. If you die in-between confession, God will know you intended to confess your sins and will probably be merciful. But just in case you DO find yourself in a moment when you fear you will soon die, be sure to pray to God for mercy. Even if you can’t speak, if your last thoughts are prayers then they still count.
Just allow yourself to see through the situation. Do not overwhelm yourself by this matters, understand that God loves you; that’s all that matters.
I was planning on going to confession during the Christmas season when my family will go the next time should I tell the priest this whole situation when I go?
You confessed your sin. Be at peace.
If you have anxiety and scrupulous thoughts, you need to tell your priest about It. And don’t
wait until Christmas to discuss this with him.
Is there a reason you cannot go on your own to talk to your pastor?
Mainly because I still live at home and my parents have no idea about this. Maybe when I’m out at the gym or running errands I can stop by my church and go to confession
Talk to your pastor about your anxiety and scrupulous thoughts. That need not be in confession, you can make an appointment or talk to him on the phone about it.
I’m still not understanding why a 19 year old cannot simply drive to the Church for an appointment with their priest, no pretext or explanation needed, you can simply go. Or is there a reason you are not free to come and go without explanation?
All those teens years you were in a panic…you were not involved in catechism classes, youth groups, formation of some sort etc. in your parish?
Had you been, you would have learned about these things, and what the Church teaches.
If you have doubts,** the priest at your parish is the one who can help you. **
Internet strangers care, but you need help in real life.
Just go see him. Email him for an appointment if necessary.
He’ll give you the answer that fits your particular situation.
I thought about this last night and I’m going later this afternoon. it’s just my anxiety is kicking in now and my stomach is in knots. I don’t know why I’m so anxious to talk to my pastor about this.
My children at at age 8 will inform me if they feel they need to go to confession. We also go as a family at least twice a month. Why at age 15 and then as an adult do you feel you need to sneak away to get spiritual help?
Considering your level of anxiety and embarrassment, it would be understandable if you didn’t want to actually schedule an appointment to speak with your priest face to face. I think you can unload your burden in confession with the same explanation that you wrote on the forum, and would encourage you to do so as soon as possible. It will be such a relief!
Going when you’re running errands or before or after the gym sounds like a good idea. I can totally understand that you might not want to advertise to your family that you’re also stopping at confession. That’s a private matter for sure. Check your church’s Website, usually confessions are held Saturday afternoons and sometimes before weekday Mass.
This is a normal struggle, even for a woman. No confessor will be surprised. Use the resources available to help combat this problem, and go to confession twice a month, as recommended already.
Scrupulosity is a serious sin. Avoid it.
When a person suffers from scruples they are ill.
read this OP:
The extra divine and terrestrial understanding of God is based on the nature that your eternal love is primarily correct.