I know to some familiar with the process that this might sound naïve, but I don’t know what to do. It seems like I can’t get from my deep desire to be fully Catholic to actually BEING Catholic.
I have been married twice before (many years ago) and am married now, and will now stay married for life. We saw our local priest and admin, got the forms, understood that the process would have a cost (I’ll leave the amount out) but it’s more that I can justify spending now for a process that has little if any chance of being completed (and would be a burden to my family) according to the requirements.
- My first marriage was as a 21 y.o. hippie many years ago, in a Unity Church that had nothing to do with any Sacraments, and
- The second was a Jewish wedding as a 25 y.o. and I wasn’t and am not Jewish. In neither case did I have any business marrying the person I married, being completely naïve about what it meant, and both ended in divorce.
- The third, current marriage was just J.O.P. civil ceremony.
Here’s the thing. There is NO chance either of those first two wives will correspond with the Church or me to talk or testify about the marriages, IF I could find a way to contact them, (I can’t) and there is no one alive who has any clue whether or not either of us were mature or knowledgeable about the sacramental nature of marriage at that time.
Given that I can’t justify the cost because of family needs, and can’t meet the requirements of the forms and norms, should I assume my desire alone is not enough? And if I die before I am ever allowed to take communion ( I can’t stand the thought) because of this administrative difficulty, and/or my ignorance, will God still consider me a Catholic? I was Trinitarian baptized in 1971, went through RCIA, and I don’t want to go through the rest of my life unconfirmed, and if at all, Catholic by declaration only, but it looks like I have little choice. This is a sad thing for me.
I spoke about this to the administrative person at the Church, and was told I should just turn in the application…but It’s not even possible to complete it, or wise to write the check. I don’t have addresses, names, even dates, really, or any idea how to reach anyone who knew either of us then, other than my mother and step dad, and they just showed up at the first one had some cake and champagne, and left, and everyone else who knew either of us is dead, or not possible to reach.
All I want is to be confirmed, go to confession, receive the Lord in the Eucharist, and be in communion with the Church. Am I making this harder than it need be? Should I just fill out the form, pay all that money no matter how hard it is for my family, and hope for the best?
I’m actually pretty intelligent, but I feel pretty stupid not understanding, and even for asking. My parish isn’t really good about having more than a 30 second conversation unless you “fit the normal mold”, and I just don’t. I’m asking out of my love for our Lord. Not because I’m stupid, though I feel like I am. I just don’t know how to move forward. So embarrassing…