Am I Just wasting my time trying to get my friend out of Mormonism

A few years ago I met with Mormon Missionaries and then joined the church. I left after 3 weeks of being baptized. My friend listened to the Missionaries and joined a year later. I thinking I was losing my friend (I don’t know this for sure- it is just how I feel) joined again. I walked away slowly- but am now seeing error and don’t think I will every be back. My friend on the other hand joined and LOVES it she is TBM all the way.

She had really no religious background. Her dad was an atheist or agnostic and mom was a Lutheran who never went to church much. So it was easy for her to believe in the whole church.

She now lives in South Carolina and I am unable to really help her see the errors in Mormonism. I guess I made it my life goal to plant seeds that she is in a cult. I know this is a silly task since she is far away and may never leave.

My question is- How can I plant seeds by using the church related materials. I mean if I sent her a book or something that she might read and question something.

She watched with me (before she moved) the Bible Vs the Book of Mormon and thought those people were deceived and it was ‘anti’ material.

I honestly don’t know enough of the religion to counteract her comments. I know religion and the ‘anti’ stuff. Such as Joseph Smith had many wives, wasn’t martyred, etc. I was told there were Joseph Smith fraud stories and I didn’t realize there were any.

I guess I would like to learn more, but I think I need to know how a Mormon thinks first- I was always sort of a doubting Mormon. My friend keeps telling me she saw my testimony growing. I think she feels bad I left the church and I feel bad she stayed. I would love a book or something else to send to her that doesn’t scream ‘anti’ but will make her question. I hope this makes sense and that you all can help me

I feel like I am wasting my time, but I pray her eyes are opened everyday

God loves tryers. You never know what seed you will plant.

I can sympathize and empathize with you. I lost one of my students from our youth group to the Mormon church. What I finally realized was that it had nothing to do with theology or doctrine. She was in love with a Mormon boy. I spoke with her until I was blue in the face. So now I just pray for her and hope that in time, when her infatuation wears off, she will see the falsehood of Mormon doctrine and return home to the truth. What I found was that she didn’t even understand the Mormon faith well enough to discuss it with me. That’s a hard nut to crack. I would try to discover the real reason for your friend joining the Mormon church. Did she lack a sense of family, or belonging? They are very good at filling that void. I seriously doubt it is because she has fallen in love with their beliefs.

Whenever she gives me her testimony. It is pretty run of the mill so I don’t know

Sounds like she didn’t have a lot of background with which to compare beliefs. That’s a difficult situation. I would give her to God. Ultimately he is the only one who can change a heart anyway. Don’t ever dismiss the power of prayer.

LDS loves to talk about themselves being “the worlds fastest growing religion”–but in reality their numbers are NOT growing that fast–thats because they have a recidivism (drop out rate) approaching 80% of all converts within the first 6 months–about the time the really loopy doctrines and practices start being revealed to them.

Wheras I can drop a copy of the CCC in front of a interested person and firmly declare if they go through RCIA they won’t get any rude doctrinal surprises.

The point being, pray for your friend to be among that 80%

Check out Marcus Grodi’s site and bring up his past testimonies of Mormons who left and converted to Catholicism. You could send her that information.

There’s a book, THE 19th WIFE, by Eliza Young who was Bringham Young’s 19th wife. Very interesting. You can look her up and read about her life on-line.

Catholic Answers has a good short piece on Mormonism called “Mormonism: A Catholic Perspective”. I’m not sure if it’s still in print, though. Another good short book would be the Beginning Apologetics 2 book. Here’s a link to it at

If you’re looking for something a bit beefier, both of the books by Isaiah Bennett on the topic are good. He’s a Catholic priest who converted to Mormonism and then reconverted to Catholicism. Good luck, and say lots of prayers.

p.s. - Look into the Great Apostasy. The existence of Mormonism depends entirely upon it but the evidence for it is basically nonexistent. For a start, read these two articles:

Latter-day Saints and the “Great Apostasy”

Problems with the Book of Mormon

This strategy will never work. You have to live a fulfilling life of your own. She erroneosly believes that Mormonism is the Church of Jesus Christ. “Dedicating” your life to separating your friend from God can only backfire - it is a demon’s job to separate a soul from God.

Mormonism is a complicated phenomenon. It encourages genuinely friendly and moral behavior, and partially fills a hole in people’s lives that could only be completely filled by the sacraments of the Catholic Church.

To separate your friend from Mormonism would mean to separate her from a close-knit family. It also means drawing her in closer to God. The best approach is to live a fulfilling life as a true Christian to show your friend that there is a better way than Mormonism. Show her a community that exists outside of it, and draw her into a better life, rather than just out into the cold.

Patty, is your sense that she is possibly more open to scriptural proof points or debate led by LDS teachings? By this I mean you can confront her with the non sense of:

  • do you believe Jesus was once human living on another planet?
  • do you believe Jesus and the devil were brothers?
  • do you believe that Jesus and the Father are separate Gods?
  • so you believe God the Father came to earth and had sex with the Virgin Mary to give birth to Jesus on earth?
  • do you believe that you will become a God and rule over a planet?
  • do you believe in Polygamy? The LDS church did until a LDS prophet was told by God to change the rules. This occurred as the US government was coming down on the church for this practice
  • the founder of Mormonism, Joseph SmIth, had 34 wives including two 14 year olds and over 10 that were married at the time. What would Jesus say of this?
  • do you believe that the current LDS president is a Prophet?
  • would a prophet build a multi million dollar shopping mall downtown Salt Lake City or feed the poor, care for the sick, and cloth the naked?
  • which church does this world-wide today following Christ’s directions?
  • why did Joseph Smith put a rock in a bag and then his head into the bag the first time? The second time?
  • Joseph Smith translated ancient Greek text on papyrus when no one else could translate the ancient Greek. Later when they could translate ancient Greek, the text did not say what he said it said. What were the differences and in what book did the writings go?
  • Joseph smith said there were three ancient north american civilizations that came from Europe and the remnant of the victorious civilization is the native American Indian. But genetics shows the native American indian comes from Asia.
  • ask her why no one can find the remains of these civilizations? No buildings, no bones of millions of people, no temples, no chariots, no swords
  • ask her why she places her trust in a church founded 150 years ago verses a church founded by Jesus onto St Peter with an apostolic succession dating from the time of Christ all the way to day?

Those are just some thought starters using the Mormon religion itself. If you need scripture its there to back you up. Ask her what church approved the canon of the bible, including the new testament and ask her why the church canonized the new testament? :wink:

Research the Adam-God doctrine. Do your homework, know who said what and when, then raise the obvious questions as tactfully as possible.

Friend, you have a lot of “interesting” advice…for the most part…not very wise advice IMO.

God is able to do more than we could ever hope or believe…and for what ever reason she has met God within the framework of the LDS church…just as you have met God in the framework of the Catholic church.

If she were searching for answers concerning her faith…I’d say…go for it…search for those answers together…but your friend seems to have found deep satisfaction and a spiritual center in her life…just be her friend…the best “sermon” is one lived out before her…if she wants to discuss her faith with you…do so…but don’t seek to “trash” her faith…especially don’t drag out “Adam_God” and “Jesus lived on another planet” type arguments…those are not OFFICIAL teachings of the LDS church and they are not supported in the standard works of the church (Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price), nor are they supported by the General Authorites…so not only would you drive a wedge between you and your friend…you most likely would be seen in the same light Catholics view Protestants when they try to tell them “Catholics worhip Mary”…“Catholics worship idols”…“Catholics do X…Y…or Z”.

Be a friend and witness to her about what Christ has done for you…and listen to her as she tells you what He has done in her life…both of you may learn something and discover things about the “height and depth” of the love of God neither of you had understood before.

Don’t lose your friend.

Patty, I would ignore most of the advice here and just try be her friend.

I expect the seeds are already planted and she may just need a friend outside the church that she can speak to, as they mature.

If your sole mission is to constantly attack her belief, you will damage or destroy the friedship. People far smarter than the posters here have ’rubbed their nose’ in the facts of mormon history. If that tactic worked reliably, the mormon church would be history.

I agree with this. :slight_smile:

Well her ‘close-knit family’ is the church members since her mom and dad never agreed. What sort of scares me is when she moved it was because she felt God was calling her to South Carolina, because she went on (or something like that) and that wasd the number one choice.

She went to ‘visit’ and see what it was like one weekend and during church someone said they had an appartment and needed a roommate. Sh then quit her job lived on her savings for months. Lived with this girl and became even more active in her singles ward.

all I thought was. You would just trust the first random person who offered you a place to stay? I think even if that girl who offered was Mormon does not mean you trust them right away.

Completely agree here.

Trying to “get your friend out of Mormonism” will only push her further in, because she will take what you are trying to do as a sign of persecution and thus, strengthen her resolve as a Mormon. IE you will be confirming her testimony by challenging her.

As a former Mormon my best is advice is exactly what Publisher said. Just be her friend. Dont be threatened or overly zealous in your “get her out of Mormonism”. That is the Holy Spirit’s responsibility, not yours.

The best witness of Christ to her is to live as an authentic disciple, not a debate of doctrines and dogmas. That was the trap of the Pharisees and scribes many times.

Good luck

Why let it bother you, most the LDS people I know are pretty cool.
I say each church to their own.
I’ve almost joined a few times, I just don’t like a few of their leaders.
but hey what ever.

So it doesn’t really matter what we believe? I don’t remember Jesus saying “I am the way, the truth and the life but hey, whatever, to each their own”. Jesus didn’t come to make us cool people. He came to save us and what you believe about that matters very much. The consequences are eternal. So if one is concerned about the salvation of someone they love then yes, it should bother them.

Well I’ve spent enough time in my life around negative people to just be happy being around people who aren’t going to constantly steal from you and sleep with your woman.
That makes Mormons ok in my book,

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