Am I living my marriage vocation if I am separated from my husband?


I have been married for 30 years to my husband, and he left our home 2 years ago. He is not pursuing another relationship nor am I. We remain good friends, but he had indicated that he has no wish to remain my “husband” in the traditional sense. I’m an RCIA church sponsor, and I’m starting to wonder how to address my “introduction” I wouldn’t want to mislead people. I’m not interested in a divorce unless he begins a relationship. Any others in this situation?


This situation seems to be

  1. out of your control to the extent that you can’t make your husband move back into your home;
  2. being reasonably handled by you in that you’re not seeking either a new relationship right now or a divorce right now;
  3. not the business of anyone in your RCIA class. They are there to learn about the teachings of the Church, not about the details of your personal life.

If you behaved in your personal life in such a way as to cause scandal, then it would be an issue because you wouldn’t be behaving in the way an RCIA teacher is expectd to behave, but you aren’t behaving in any scandalous way. It was your husband’s choice to leave.

I don’t see how this is an issue at all for RCIA. Nor do the people taking your RCIA course need to know anything about it.


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