My husband and I have been married for three years and have never used ABC. Prior to marriage I learned NFP and we practiced it with the intention to avoid (although we were never super strict about it) for about the first year and then we abandoned it, although I keep an eye on CM daily (taking temps has never worked for me).
We have never conceived, to my knowledge, although I suspect three VERY early miscarriages. I have always wanted children, and have mild depression about our apparent infertility almost every month. The problem is the more time that passes, the more I do not actively want to try to have a baby. We would never use ABC and would be DELIGHTED, absolutely over the moon, should we conceive, but I no longer desire to do everything in my power to make it happen. My husband feels the same way - content if we never had children, although there will always be something missing.
I have some health issues, mental and physical, contributing to my attitude (and am doing what I can about them). For my husband's part, he just wants me to be happy. It has nothing to do with wanting more material things...I think we just want to be happy with what we have, and not be miserable over what we don't. Children included.
However, my mother thinks I should be reading every book available and undergoing every procedure under the sun and taking every supplement ever created, in order to conceive. At this point in time I don't want to do this, and I'm not getting any younger. My mother doesn't think I'm sinning by not doing this (she just really wants a grandchild ;) but I tend towards scrupulosity, as well as being capable of horrible, real sins. I don't know whether this is the former, the latter, or nothing to be concerned about.
Is it sinful to just let things happen? Or to be happy being childless, if you're not doing it on purpose? Or is it more proper to actively be distressed and depressed by infertility? I've had a lot of suffering and crosses to bear in life and I think I feel guilty that this one isn't as heavy as it "should" be, or as heavy as I expected it to be, since I've always wanted babies so much.
Could this cross being light be a gift from God?