Am I overreacting?

Perhaps this is a silly question, but I had a conversation with a guy that has left me shaken. He has been pushing and pushing for a relationship, but I have insisted that I only want to remain friends for various reasons.

Well, yesterday he wrote to me and said the following:

“If I rape you and you conceive, you will have to be with me and you won’t be able to work. And I know you won’t abort.”

One of the reasons I had told him would keep a relationship from working between us is the line of work I am going into. It will require a lot of travel on short notice; that is why he said that bit about how a baby would keep me from working.

Quite frankly, this scared me. Maybe I am overreacting, but at the same time, I feel like he was being serious. He is obsessed with me, and I am afraid he might take it to another level or something.

Should I report this to the police? He lives out of town, but knows where I live. At this point there probably is nothing I can do. Will you pray for me? This whole thing has made me sick to my stomach and uneasy.

Thanks folks. Blessings to you all!

That is not a silly question. That communication is seriously creepy and threatening. Tell someone immediately, show them what he wrote, and make a plan to deal with this problem. I do not know what will be done about it, but it may be that a police officer will have to show up on his doorstep so he can be taken to the district attorney, who can explain that this fellow is not going to “be with” anyone or have any parental rights as an imprisoned rapist.

If this is the Indian guy, just fade out. He’s on another continent.

If it is somebody more local, fade out, but with a higher level of vigilance. Tell your family and any friends that he has been acting creepy and you don’t want to be around him anymore. And then don’t spend any time with him and don’t accept “I was kidding”. If anything more definite is said or done (other than this creepy hypothetical stuff), talk to the police.

I once knew a guy who used this kind of “if I did such and such” language, and yes, he did in fact eventually take advantage of his girlfriend, once he had the opportunity. It’s really important not to provide this sort of person the opportunity to follow through.

There’s a quote that goes something like this: people are always telling you who they are–listen to what they’re saying. There’s another quote that goes like this: nobody is ever kidding (meaning, kidding is a way of getting away with saying the things that you mean).

Keep safe!

Depending on where he lives relative to you, I would report this to the police. And I would tell him that you have reported it to the poliice. And after that, have no further contact whatsoever. If he continues to harrass you, keep going to the police and explore getting a restraining order.

But if he lives on another continent, it might just be best to ignore him from now on.

Report this. To friends, family, roommates, and police. Even if he lives in another country, that doesn’t mean he can’t travel. Change your number and your email if you can, so he can’t contact you, and see if you can get a restraining order. Take measures to secure your home. Heck, take self defense classes. He made a bodily threat to you in writing. You must protect yourself.

Actually, 31 states allow rapists to sue their victims for paternity rights if a child is born as a result of the attack. It’s terrible, but true. The man threatening the OP may be aware of this. If he is, he is doubly dangerous, because if he follows through on his threat successfully, he could use the legal system to continue to victimize her.

Let us hope this is one thing Congress gets right for a change:

There are also states where what he has already done is a crime, because he is trying to extort his victim into compliance by way of a threat. He really ought to be reported.

Pray to St.Michael:
Pray to your Guardian angel and his guardian angel

Definitely report this. I had a girl make similar threats in college but I failed to report it. The good thing for me was that she moved on to a friend of mine, but he also didn’t report her. The bad news for him is that she tried to follow through on her threats then made all sorts of false accusations against him when her loony tactics didn’t result in him falling for her.

You live in the United States ergo you are not overreacting. Take the note to the police and sever all connection. Good Luck!

Definitely not! I have a hard time imagining anyone, ESPECIALLY someone whom you’re calling a friend, would ever say this to you! That’s got danger written all over it…tell someone immediately!!

Good luck with resolving this! Don’t face it alone…tell friends or someone older whom you trust, who you believe can help you as well!!


File a police report. TODAY! and cut off all communication with this creep.

go to the police immediately. this creep belongs in jail. no excuse

Police matter!!! :bluelite:

In our politically correct world it is hard to imagine anyone putting something like this in writing and I assure you it needs action. You should completely cut off any further communication with him, tell your family and take the note to the police. It may seem like over kill but you have been directly threatened. God bless you with courage and safety.

How he spoke to you is a big red flag. I agree with those who say to report it.

Is this a troll post? This guy was dumb enough to write that down and send it to you?

Aaaaand this is why I’m glad I’m a man, because my gender is friggin’ creepy.

Call the police. Check with a personal security expert on self-defense, etc. It’s unfortunate that this has happened to you, but you have to deal with it as a serious matter.

If this sort of thing were to happen to a woman in my life, a daughter, for example, I would exert some physicality upon his personage that would no doubt land me in the confessional.

Agree! Someone who says those things to you is NOT a friend. Please report this.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit