Am I putting my morality at risk?


I am a college student who has just entered into my first relationship. My boyfriend does not come from the same moral background as I do, but we have talked extensively about my moral standards (i.e. no sex or sexual acts of any sort outside of marriage and no “coping a feel” of either my breasts or butt). He has whole heartedly agreed and is very good about respecting my moral decisions and has even begun to look into catholicism in response to our relationship.
Unfortunately, being in such a relationship has made me realize that my moral education, while strong has been lacking on the details. I whole heart-idly wish to maintian a Godly relationship but I am struggling knowing when to say we need to slow down. This problem has mainly arisen when we are making out. The three main things I am confused on is 1.) if "grinding whole making out is morally wrong (which research is showing it may be considered immoral, but I cannot find a good reliable answer), 2.) whether napping/sleeping together is wrong (and it is truly, fully-clothed, merely sleeping in the same bed) and 3.) finally, and this is very odd and specific, if sucking on his fingers while making out denotes some type of foreplay to him, and should not be done.
I am sorry for the odd and graphic bits of this question, but I figure it is better for me to be a little bit embarrassed asking than losing my soul for the sake of my pride :o !


Yes, you are putting your morality at risk.

Is grinding for non-married folks wrong? Yes. So much as thinking impure thoughts is a sin. Sustaining these thoughts, deliberately, increases the gravity of the sin from impure thought to impure desire.

I don’t think it’s prudent to nap together, because it’s only going to lead you into the next step. We are to flee temptation.

I don’t think sucking on fingers is a good idea, either, very suggestive.

Here’s an examination of conscience, what we should review each time before we go to confession:

Scroll down to where it says, “Examination of conscience”.

Catechism of the Catholic Church…

Our Lady of Fatima said the reason most go to hell is due to sins of the flesh. Fornication is a mortal sin.

Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither** fornicators** nor idolaters nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes* nor sodomitesc
nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinithians, 6:9-10.


If you hang around a beehive long enough, you will get stung. Kudos to you for voicing your concerns!

My advice, stop grinding, buy some popcorn and see a movie! Play cards, not ‘post office.’
Double date and go do something public and fun! Go to church together. Hold hands and hug goodnight. [a peck on the cheek is just fine!]


If I were watching a movie, and the main characters started grinding while sharing a bed, and then one started sucking on the others’ fingers, I think I’d know what was going to happen in the next scene.

The zany roommate pops in followed by the future in-laws, and hilarity ensues! :popcorn:

Just joking. Best of luck with your relationship, your faith, and in keeping your morals.


Esieffe has given you some good advice, and taking naps together should be out of the question–that is what I believe is called “the near occasion of sin,” which can only lead to something bad.

Pray for the grace to stick by your decisions and follow God’s will. He only wants what’s good for each of us. True love is like that.


:rotfl: :thumbsup:


We all needed a little laugh! :wink:


Rule of thumb! Don’t do anything you would not do in front of your parents.


Thank you so much for all of the input! It looks like it’s time for another morality talk with my boyfriend. Thankfully he is really receptive to these kinds of talks as we both really do care to keep ourselves pure :slight_smile: Its unfortunate I didn’t go into the relationship thinking of these things but I do really appreciate all of the information you all have given me. :thumbsup:


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