I know I have asked you all for help in this area of my life before.
I am facing my confession tomorrow - and I am still feeling so unsure and I could really, really use some encouragement and guidance.
I am going to be confessing my sin of using contraceptives for the past five years. I am sorry for having used them and I understand what I did was bad. My husband have started NFP this week…I have many mixed feelings about giving this up to God, but I am taking it day by day.
The part that is killing me is the following:
I had an IUD in for just shy of a year - I know how an IUD works - it is purely an abortifacient. I feel as though it is necessary for me to come to terms with the fact that I could have killed my child(ren) - and I have not yet done this. In fact, as horrible as this is, whenever I think of it, I am happy that I do not have this child(ren).
(I really would rather not turn this into a dicussion about why I do not want children right now - that is between my husband, myself, and God)
I felt awful even typing it here - how am I going to say this tomorrow?!
I am just not sure if because of this, I am ready to confess yet.
Can someone please offer me some guidance or encouragement?!