I was talking to a guy friend of mine the other day and he told me he thought I was being unreasonable:eek:.
We were talking about me moving on and the possibility of starting over again with someone. I’ve known him for many years, we worked together and then became good friends, we don’t talk often cause he’s busy with work and his family, but we try to stay in touch. I trust and respect him and his judgment, he’s a good family man and we went through some tough times at our former job:mad: and we supported each other through that.
Anyway, I mentioned to him that if I were to enter a new relationship I really wanted it to be with someone who didn’t have any kids. I told him that it was hard enough having my own without having to deal with someone else’s children and baby’s momma drama:blush:. He was quiet for awhile, then said he thought I was being too picky.
I told him, had I followed my own rules (this was one of my rules before I met stbx) maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess, it seems I compromised a lot of what I wanted and didn’t want in a marriage/husband for this man and it blew up in my face (and I take full responsibility for the choices I made:o).
He again said he thought I was being unreasonable and, to a point, discriminating…because I was cutting out a population of men who, other than having a child(ren) could be a very good husband to me. He also said that I was being hypocritical considering that I had a child myself:blush:, albeit from a marriage. I didn’t know what to say, except that I felt I had the right to choose who I would consider “husband” material or not.
He asked what I thought of men who had my same “rules” about women with children, I told him that it was their right to choose not to date women with children and it didn’t bother me. He said most women would be screaming male chauvinist…how dare he:shrug:.
That whole conversation got me thinking, am I being unreasonable or am I discriminating a group of men for no good reason? Am I just being picky…or in my situation should I have the “beggars can’t be choosers” attitude? I can’t say he changed my mind on the matter…but he did get me thinking, what’s your thoughts on this? I would like to get everyone’s perspective on this matter…especially men, thanks.