Am I still a virgin?


It’s quite shameful, but I have a history of moderate (but still horrible) porn addiction and masturbation multiple times a day. I no longer look at porn nor masturbate, although I do have lustful thoughts. When lying in bed (and throughout the day), I have thoughts of women.

However, I have never had intercourse with someone. (I also have not been on any dates in my whole life. I’m quite the loner.)

Am I still a virgin? I ask because apparently St. Thomas Aquinas would say no, whereas St. Augustine would say yes.

Thanks for any help.

God bless you.


Yes, you are virgin because you haven’t had sex with anyone yet.

And don’t worry about your past, the past is in the past and has no power over you. You are pure and that’s a very nice thing, hope you’ll find a lady that will know to love you and value your qualities. Just don’t be too shy and that certainly will happen.



Just remember though, that to willingly entertain any lustful thought, which includes sexual thoughts of women, is a sin. However, if u were to do so by accident for a short time, but then realized what you were thinking about and then immediately stopped, it generally would not be a sin.

God bless! :slight_smile:


Well if you’re still a virgin; well, you’re not missing much. I know the desire is strong. And Augustine struggled with sexual things himself too. So remember that when speaking of him. I’m 43 and I’ve never been on any dates. Not formally anyway. I find it best to keep your mind off sex as much as possible. It’s addictive just like the tongue. And when I say that I mean not just what you say but the sense of taste too. It’s addictive. Make friends with women. Realize they are people too. The worst thing you could do now is dehumanize and end up doing something rash. Some people like to say “There’s someone for everyone.” I don’t believe that. It’s not always the case. Strive to do God’s will. Let God know what you want but above all. “Not my will but thine be done.” And go to Mass and take the host as much as possible. That’s where we derive our spiritual strength. From spiritual food.

God Bless



You probably mean well, but you couldn’t possibly be more wrong.


Congrats on conquering porn and masturbation. I don’t know why it matters so much to you, but yes by the standard of 99.9999% of the population, you are still a virgin. “St” doesn’t mean they were right about everything all of the time. I’ll side with Augustine on this one.


No intercourse = virgin. Regarding everything else, confess, repent, and go on from there!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit