My wife and I have been married for 4 years. We are both very active in the Parish and our Faith. We both have been using NFP for about 6 months. Previuos to NFP, we were not using any form of birth control. We have 2 beatiful sons (6 months and 2 years old). We are very blessed with our family.
New to NFP - The first 4 of these 6 months were post pregnancy, and haven't been very easy due to her irregular cycle. We are both aware that her cycle will get back to normal soon (after breastfeeding, etc.)
Background on our Parish. Our Parish consists of about 5000 families. A very large percentage are young parents 30-45. Everyone has 2-3 kids and that is great. We really enjoy being in the presence of young families, as we are both 29 years old.
Again, we are all for being a "good" catholic, but I have a few questions........
It seems as if there are a small amount of discussion about NFP and sexuality at the Parish. It seems like all we know is to stay away from BC. That is fine, but that is all that is really said. There is very little information about NFP. You would think there would be pamphlets, parish meetings, etc. The Catholic church says no to BC. I am okay with that, BUT what do we do??? We are on NFP, but that was only because we initiated the research. What are the other parishioners doing?
It seems that people are really open to discussing their family life while at Parish get togethers. There are many highly involved Parishioners that I have discussed NFP with. Some of them caught me off guard by saying they used BC during the 15 years of "baby-making" time. It caught me off guard because I look up to these individuals. I really think highly of them. When I heard they used BC, I was stunned. I couldn't believe my ears. They said they stayed on BC, and then when they wanted another baby, they popped off the pill, and had a baby. Then they got right back on the pill.
This made me feel like we were doing something wrong. At 29, my wife and I are always "ready" for each other, sexually. We aren't opposed to having more children, but we feel like we can't at the moment. With 2 kids, under 2, we are going crazy as it is.
During our 6 months of NFP usage, we have actually felt like we have grown apart sexually. Every time we engage sexually, we have this calendar up in our head. It is like we are sending a shuttle to space. We have to get everything cleared by Houston before proceeding. We have heard that NFP brings couples closer, but I don't see that. We went from having a very close relationship sexually, to always being paranoid about when we can be "together". Again, we took the NFP courses and are following all methods as closely as possible.
Spontaneous sex is no longer part of our life and we miss that greatly. Also, as young adults, we feel like we are in our "prime" years for sexual intercourse. It is very selfish to say this, but we feel like we are limited in our sexual lives. We fully love each other, but we can't fully express our love sexually. I know what you are going to say. Children are the symbol of love. We know this, and that is our reasoning for NOT using BC.
Why do I feel like we are the only couple using NFP. A large percentage of my catholic friends are using BC.
Why is it common for people to use BC during their fertile years, even though they might be strong catholics
Why do I feel like we are growing apart while using NFP.
What is "legal" in the eyes of the Catholic church for us to do while we are in the infertile stages of the month. I am referring to what are we able to do sexually while not engaging in "sex". I know the answer to this already, but would like to hear it from a Priest. I am too uncomfortable to ask my local Priest this question.
We are going to continue loving and serving God as we already are. Discussing the topic and getting positive feedback will help us in our journey.
Love in Christ