Am I where God wants me to be?

When we die is it really “our time to die”? What if we take our own life? My thought used to be that it wasn’t “our time” if I we were to kill ourself, but now I’m not so sure. Who’s to say its not “my time” if I killed myself? If God wants me to live then won’t he’ll let me live. Well, so far He has and I’m still here, but what if I did die. Wouldn’t it be because it was “my time”? Just wondering about this because I’ve going thru so much these last few months. I’ve been trying to get out if this dark place but I’m still struggling and dealing with all these suicidal thoughts. I am in treatment and have been for a while now and in some ways I’m better but the thoughts don’t leave me. Am I exactly where God wants me to be right now??

I am in treatment and have been for a while now and in some ways I’m better but the thoughts don’t leave me. Am I exactly where God wants me to be right now??

Since you are in treatment and still here, yes, you do seem to be following at least part of what God wants you to do.

We know that suicide is a grave matter, and God has blessed you with the gift of medical treatment for this difficult time for you.

You are in my prayers.

:gopray:

Remember that we weren’t intended to die at all, and the fact that we do is a result of our first parents’ first sin. And while God can and does bring good out of the evil that is death, this definitely does not mean that we should do the evil in hopes that He will. Statements like “it was his time” and similar do not negate that death is profoundly unnatural, and never something we should seek.

Committing suicide is always contrary to God’s plan. We are to do good to try to conquer the evil that is present, not acquiesce to the evil - so the attending therapy and trying to escape this dark place you are in that you are already doing is what God wants. You will be in my prayers.

Actully I did “try” to take my own life, obviously I was not succesful. In spite of hospitalization, medication and lots of intensive therapy the thoughts and urges still won’t go away. Maybe I am supposed to try again, maybe it’s inevitable. If I am where God wants me to be then maybe I am supposed die this way?

No.

God wants you to heal and be alive so His will for you would be fulfilled. His will is never violent death.

Praying for you.

I believe that we all have a purpose to fulfill in this life. I read from previous posts that you have children, and yes, raising children is a definite purpose in life. But there is so much more to it. Raising children never really ends, and taking your life will prevent you from continuing on in your purpose. And, there may be more that God wants you to do in this life beyond raising children.

Think of this time in your life as a pile of lemons. There is lemonade to be made from these lemons! There is something positive to come out of it all. If you haven’t been, I would recommend praying for wisdom to know how to get through this rough spot you’ve been in. Ask God to give you vision to see a brighter time in your future so that you have something to look forward to and to work towards. There is so much power in prayer!

It is great that you are on meds and getting therapy, but are you on the right meds and the right therapy for you? Please be clear with them about these suicidal thoughts because there may be more that they can do, or things that need to be changed.

I am praying for you!!

I’ve been seriously depressed too, and have fought such thoughts.it keeps coming back especially if you nurture them and keep thinking about them. Discover when the suicidal thoughts usually come and get the better of you.

I have been used to gospel meditation and reflection, but when I became terribly depressed—I found myself depressed the more I reflected and meditated using this prayer method—it was very dangerous so I have to stop them altogether including journal writing. .

I resorted to focusing in my job and I changed my prayer habit, from meditation to rosary and divine mercy vocal prayers.(which didn’t require so much reflection but begging for the grace). When the thoughts became very terrible I would resort to begging to God. When I am severely tried I would offer all my anxieties and give them to God…It was really prayers that healed me.

I advice you not to dwell too much on these questions. I’m not saying they are valid but in your state right now, such reflections would induce more self-analysis and egoism.

Regarding the question of death…we aren’t the author of our lives, God is…but he gave us freewill to choose him or not—and so with death. If we allow Him to carry out His plans in our life then we have to believe we have a reason for living…but if we don’t and feel that our suffering is meaningless then we could end it (though this would altogether defeat the meaning of the cross).As Christians, we are called to carry our crosses no matter how terrible they may seem…because this is the glory of Christianity, not that Jesus was hailed as King, but he conquered the world not by joy, glory or comfort, but through pain and suffering…Christ went through suffering. Our God went through a terrible pain–but he chose it. He did not abandon the cross but embraced it…and this is why the Christian cross is beautiful. Our God embraced the cross—He is our model of longsuffering…

So look up to Jesus in the cross…He knows what you are going through. He knows the meaninglessness of going through an undeserved pain and suffering. You are closer to Him now and more surely like him–in suffering.But a cross without Christ is only mere suffering…Offer your sacrifices to Jesus.

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