(Don’t take this the wrong way, or get down on a “see, everyone else can…” thing)
At 29 I was married 5 years.
One day a buddy of mine stopped by. He asked me to come with him to help him buy a new cassette deck. (I was up to my armpits in car engine, covered in grease/dirt, stinky, in ripped jeans and a T-shirt that was dirtier than me). I said “yeah, sure… why not”… wiped my hands on my shirt and got in the car.
We went to the local mall to the stereo store. Just our luck that (in my eyes) God’s most perfect female creation greeted us asking “How can I help you guys…?”
Short version: He bought a cassette deck, and I (after making a total *ss of myself several times) asked her out to dinner & drinks that Friday night, and gave her my number.
Believe it or not she showed up. Not because she was as attracted to me as I was her… (during our dinner conversation she told me I looked like a total dirt-bag in the stereo store - and she normally wouldn’t be caught dead with a guy like that)… she showed up because she lost the slip of paper with my phone number, and didn’t want to be rude and stand me up!
Well, I guess I “shine-up” pretty good, and make a decent 2nd impression. We’ll be married 20 years come Labor Day weekend.
Growing up I was one of the “4 Musketeers”. All of us 4 went through personal hell of one form or another during our childhoods, and we’ve stuck together now into our 40’s.
I was the 1st married. The 2nd married at 34 - after dating (his words) “One psycho-b*tch from hell after another”… he has two kids and will be married 6 years come October. Musketeers 3 & 4 are still single at 42 & 43.
There is a plan. It is NOT yours… things will, and just do happen. I did not plan to meet my wife in a stereo shop covered in grease and smelling like a rendering plant… but I did! She didn’t want to meet for our date, but something told her to go…
The secret (as mentioned) is to just ask. Get yourself out there, and ask a gal out on a date. What do you stand to lose? A few sentences of words, a few hours of your time and a few dollars? Maybe things’ll click, maybe they won’t. Edison discovered nearly 2000 ways how to NOT make a lightbulb… but that last, or that “ok, one more” payed off!
Who knows… If my wife did “stand me up” that 1st date, I may have met a different gal in the restaurant that night… and I’d have a different story to tell…