An invitation for a non-catholic service



I’m sure this topic was on here couple of times already. However, I would need an advice, please.

I am still working in one family in Scotland as a Mother’s help. They are lovely family with more than 4 small kids.
The host-mum is keeping to invite me time to time to their service in a Church of Scotland. I had visited their Church at the beginning when I came to live with them and work with them and then one more time which was in the middle of big “problem”.
This “problem” had started when we started as friends to discuss the topic “faith”. And I was told to leave the house within 14 days because of not recieving their rememberance of the Last Supper at their church’s service. This problem was, thank God, solved, and I did not need to leave this family.
However, the problem raised from the misunderstanding of terms, which we, both sides are using but with not the exactly same meaning, and from not understanding exactly the teaching of CC from the other side.
Thanks God, this had happend nearly one year ago and we are still living together and helping (I hope:) ) to each other in many ways.

Nevertheless, today I was again invited for one “special service” which is held every month for non-believers. I am not going there.

How to tell with every respect to other side that I do not feel comfortable with this as it shows me that my faith is not respected and it is supposed that I “need to be evangelized”?
My difficulty with saying this is doubled also that I am in a position emloyee versus emloyer and not only friend versus friend.

Thank you for every comments. :wink:


WOW!! That is a tough situation you are in–which BTW they should not have put you in in the first place:(

I understand trying to evangelize because Im a NCC myself but the way they are going about it is not very christian-like.

Do you feel comfortable standing up for your faith? Do you feel you will lose your job if you do not go? If you said no thank you–what do you think the consequences will be?


Of course, I do feel comfortable standing up for my faith! And how happy I am for that.:dancing:

Unfortunately, I had experinced that a real dialogue about the issue “faith” in my case is for now very difficult if not impossible. There were words put in my mouth which I never said and by no means I could not explain my point of view. When I had tried to with every respect, with peace and charity - I did my best;) , that this type of conversation seems to me to be able to be very quickly judgemental, I was told the next day that it is no one else than me who is judgmental. Shortly speaking, I do feel that there isn’t a room for the real conversation yet. And I love this family very much. :yup:

I bless every situation like this, praying for peace in my heart.

What would you do in my situation?


Hi chrpenka,
If I was in your situation, I would say thank you for the invitation, but you humbly decline.
I know its not an easy situation for you to be in.
Also just explain to them your happy with the faith your currently with and do not wish to learn about another church cause your still learning all the things the catholic faith is about.
Im sure they would be understanding about this once you explain to them you dont wish to leave your faith.
Or if you dont want to take that road, perhaps invite them to a catholic church sometime? Maybe they will be interested in going and perhaps they might learn more about catholics at the same time.
God Bless you and im sure everything will turn out well for you.
dolphy :slight_smile:


Hi dolphy,

thank you for your answer!
I know, it is not easy even for me to explain the whole situation.

We were already once at the mass. She did not recieve Holy Communion and went only for a blessing. However, it was only because of me. Before I came to this family, she said to me she always recieved Eucharist when attending a CC mass because she do not see any reason why not and was always angry that CC doesn’t support such Communiun unless the person is adequately educated.
But because of me, she did not do it that day, which would hurt me as she said. However, on the way back home, it was not a dialogue but rather a monologue, I dare to say, I was told with bitterness about not allowing to read Bible in CC in the times of Luther, and about his great work…

I know that some of preachers of their church know to say things about CC which are not true. And then she sees it like a truth. So, it is difficult, but not impossible to keep peace, which means to keep Christ, in my heart and the whole situation.

But, time to time, I need a support and prayers over this excellent Forum! :thumbsup:

God bless you.


I am going to express my opinion, which you may freely disregard :slight_smile: but I have encountered situations in my life, while not quite the same, but somewhat similar…

I have worked at positions where my employer, or persons of authority in that business alone, after having found out that I was a Roman Catholic…began pressuring me to convert…subtly at first, then were followed by the tracts, etc.

I was polite and did not bend. What I did instead was update my resume…and secured another position. I did worry about being terminated, however it never concerned me very much as I knew that I would be able to secure other employment.

I consider my faith to be more important than a job. And for that reason I knew what I had to do.

Is it possible that you could update your resume and field it to a Catholic organization who could help you secure employment with a Catholic family or one who would value your skills while not trying to “convert” you?

God bless, and our prayers are with you!!


If your employer has told you the service is aimed at non-believers, you can tell her that you most certainly are a believer and it probably would be better for you not to attend so that a true non-believer can have the seat you might have occupied. :wink:


Thank so much, for everything what you wrote, RobHom.

Maybe I am still too young to understand. What is maybe the most difficult thing to comprehend is this simple fact:
First eight months of my staying with the family, there were no disputations about our faith. Always during this time everything was discussed with respect from the both sides. Even when I was couple times on “Lectio Divina prayer group” and afterwards I shortly explained to her that I like it so much and why.
However, during this time was the new baby born.

And then I asked myself why after eight months the situation changed and unfortunately changed radically?
Only answer which I gave to myself was: It was anyway great effort for the family to find someone for helping them and they really needed a help, but after the birth of a baby the big pressure disappeared and I probably started to be not so “precious” for them. This is my only answer for this. But anyway, I am going finish this post at Christmas time, it will be nearly two years staying with them. And despite this “faith-situation” I will still love them.

Thank you very much for your prayer. :slight_smile: :love: :wink:


If it doesn’t work out, America has tons of domestic work and a law agaisnt firing people on religious grounds. Just something to think about.:slight_smile:


This is very hard to give a good answer because I dont know the words exchanged-but I think if it were me (the roles would be reversed in other words for me it would be having to go to a catholic church)I would go and not take communion. If asked, simply say that if you take communion you will be drinking damnation to yourself. Now–to them that will mean you are in sin. Which according to the CC you probably would be anyway–right? They know that if you are in sin you should not take communion and no one can comment on that because that is between you and God. If I had to go to a CC I would not go up either unless I felt pressured then I would go up and ask for a blessing.:thumbsup:

I dont feel overly comfortable going to a CC but I would out of respect and love (which you said you felt for them)for my employer/friend. If you have already spoken about your faith and have to come to an impass then you should’ nt really talk about it anymore–due to the stress it is causing.

That is my advice for what it is worth.:shrug:


First of all, at one time the Church of Scotland was very picky about who received communion–people had to be examined by the elders and were then given “tokens” which they presented at the service. No token, no communion. If your hosts were a little more aware of their own history, they might be more understanding of the Catholic Church’s position.

One point from their side, though: since you refused to receive communion with them, they may see inviting you to the “special service” as a way of including you without making you feel uncomfortable, since the service is for outsiders (i.e., people who would not be receiving communion). They would not have initially invited you to receive communion (at least I would presume not) if they considered you an unbeliever. Perhaps, since you have a close relationship with this family, you should try to find a way in which you can visit each other’s churches without feeling pressured.

Certainly being an employee makes it complicated, and your employers/hosts ought to be particularly sensitive in those circumstances. To put religious pressure on an employee is a big no-no.



But she would probably find it very difficult to get a job here legally.




I am very sorry that these folks have put you in this position. This is why I try not to attend any services at my family’s churches, where I feel uncomfortable. (They are Baptist, very fundamentalist).

Certainly, this is very unfair to you. But I agree, I would say, as Pixie Dust posted, that “I am a believer, so this is not a service for me”.
You are a believer, they know this…but for whatever reason, they don’t “get it”. I don’t know them. I can’t say if it is simply ignorance, or if they really have a prejudice against Catholics…
In any case, :console: :hug3: .
God bless.

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