I currently have a friend who I don’t know what do about. We were good friends in college. We lived in the same dorm and worked together for a few years. We had some fun times and I do still enjoy her company.
However, our circumstances have changed since we graduated. We are now 4 years out of school. We are both married, have full time jobs, and live on opposite sides of the state.
We have kept in touch, but lately I feel her friendship is too high maintenance and does not fulfill my personal need for easy fun and relaxation.
My friend does not drive on highways, so our get togethers are very limited in terms of our options. Her husband has to drive her to my house or the visits require me to drive across the state. Unfortunately, my husband does not have much in common with her husband and prefers not to hang out with him. This puts me in a place of making my husband spend time with another male he does not care for so I can see my girlfriend. It is becoming rather awkward to arrange visits under these circumstances, however my friend is already asking about when she and her husband came come visit us this month. I get tired just thinking about it.
I was also in her wedding and her mom tried to get me to pay for the shower (which I could not afford at the time). She is also Jewish so we do not have matters of faith in common.
However, I feel somehow obligated to continue the friendship. She still calls me and I do enjoy speaking with her, but I tire of her inability to drive and the obligation to always invite her husband along.
What do I do? I have already explained to her that she really needs to learn how to travel her on her own. However, she refuses to change this aspect of her life.
If I do not return her calls anymore she would be deeply hurt. I was also her maid of honor and I would feel guilty just “dumping her”. However, I am not sure the friendship is worth my time and energy given that she requires so many special arrangements.
Please help! I saw an earlier post today about a draining friend and it sparked me to post this question. What do I do??