So I was in Wal-Mart with my mother–we were purchasing my little brother’s birthday present–and I happened to glance at the magazines in the checkout counter. And lo, there was Soap Opera Digest, and what it said filled me with vindictive glee, and an inhuman, merciless joy to the depths of my black heart.
Well, because at the top of the page, in yellow sans serif type, it said three words that vindicated everything I have ever thought or held as a belief.
Those words were:
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA PREVIEW
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s right: it’s official. It’s a soap opera.
(begins rising hysterical, but triumphant, laughter)
Noooooooooooooooooooooo! It’s a sci-fi space opera!
So what if Apollo, who is married to Dee, is in love with Starbuck, who is married to Anders, even though Starbuck and Apollo slept together the night before Starbuck and Anders got married immediately after Starbuck proposed to Anders.
And so what if Sharon loved both Tyrol AND Heelo…except there are two Sharons, one good (who helped Heelo on Cylon-Occupied Caprica) and one bad (who shot Cmdr. Adama) and they switched place after evil Sharon was killed by Cally, who fell in love with and married Tyrol, and was resurrected on Cylon-Occupied Caprica and good Sharon is now a Raptor pilot with the call-sign of Athena.
SPOILER (For those who haven’t seen the last episode)
Oh, and so what if Anders, Tyrol, Tori and TIGH are all Cylons!?
Now I want to know who the last one is…Starbuck, Roslin…who could it be?
What the (insert BSG’s bad wordhere) is this about Tigh pulling a gun on Adama in the previews!?