Annulment as a Roman Catholic


#1

When I got married three years ago, I knew it was wrong. I was in a bad place and chose to ignore God. So, I married the man. He is not a Catholic nor ever was. We were married in a courthouse. My priest says that because of these things, our marriage was not sacramental and can be annulled immediately. If the Church says I was never married, doesn't that take away the responsibility I have for committing the sin of marrying him, in the first place? I don't want to say it never happened. I sinned in what I did. Why must the Church say that it wasn't a marriage in order to allow me to have a real sacramental wedding (after getting a legal divorce from a man who easily admits he never wanted me)?


#2

[quote="Verum1980, post:1, topic:310271"]
When I got married three years ago, I knew it was wrong. I was in a bad place and chose to ignore God. So, I married the man. He is not a Catholic nor ever was. We were married in a courthouse. My priest says that because of these things, our marriage was not sacramental and can be annulled immediately.

[/quote]

I'm assuming that you were married in a courthouse without appropriate dispensation from the bishop. If that is that case, your marriage is not sacramental simply because the Church does not recognize your marriage in the first place. Your case would be referred to as a "lack of form" case.

If the Church says I was never married, doesn't that take away the responsibility I have for committing the sin of marrying him, in the first place?

No. What you did was objectively sinful. Your culpability depends on your intent. If you willfully ignored the Church and went ahead and married outside of the Church, that would be considered a mortal sin. If you had no idea it was a sin, it would not be a mortal sin. Regardless, the matter should be discussed with your confessor.

Why must the Church say that it wasn't a marriage in order to allow me to have a real sacramental wedding (after getting a legal divorce from a man who easily admits he never wanted me)?

It's simpler than that. The Church has its rules, and bases Her decisions on whether or not they were followed. You didn't follow the rules...no marriage...period.


#3

[quote="Verum1980, post:1, topic:310271"]
Why must the Church say that it wasn't a marriage in order to allow me to have a real sacramental wedding (after getting a legal divorce from a man who easily admits he never wanted me)?

[/quote]

You cannot be married to two men at once. Either you are validly married or you are not. Christ does not recognize civil divorce. Read Matthew 5:31-32.


#4

Yes, you sinned, to a certain extent, in "marrying" that man. (I can't tell how badly you sinned. Not my job, thank God! :))

No, receiving a decree of nullity from the Church doesn't mean you didn't sin. It just means that it was your own will that put you together, not God. That's how I've come to look at it. Jesus said, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."

God did not put my teenage mistake together. I was not fit to marry, back then. He did not put your errant marriage together either: "I was in a bad place and chose to ignore God." Therefore, the Church in her wisdom can declare it null! :thumbsup:

May God bless you!


#5

[quote="PaulfromIowa, post:3, topic:310271"]
Christ does not recognize civil divorce. Read Matthew 5:31-32.

[/quote]

Understood, but what of the CCC
2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.176
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.

( I'm still learning!!)
thank you


#6

[quote="Verum1980, post:1, topic:310271"]
If the Church says I was never married, doesn't that take away the responsibility I have for committing the sin of marrying him, in the first place?

[/quote]

No. I am not following this line of reasoning at all. You failed in your obligation to be married in the Church. That is a sin you need to confess. But all sins can be forgiven.

[quote="Verum1980, post:1, topic:310271"]
I don't want to say it never happened. I sinned in what I did.

[/quote]

A decree of nullity (or in this case, lack of form paperwork) does not say that the civil marriage "never happened". It was invalid-- this is a fact so I don't understand what your problem is.

[quote="Verum1980, post:1, topic:310271"]

Why must the Church say that it wasn't a marriage in order to allow me to have a real sacramental wedding (after getting a legal divorce from a man who easily admits he never wanted me)?

[/quote]

If there is no finding of invalidity, then you are not free to marry anyone else.


#7

[quote="empantarhei, post:5, topic:310271"]
Understood, but what of the CCC
2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.176
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.

( I'm still learning!!)
thank you

[/quote]

It means that civil divorce can be tolerated if necessary for some greater good, such as securing necessary financial support for children. Civil divorce does not and cannot dissolve the bonds of a valid Christian marriage.


#8

[quote="PaulfromIowa, post:7, topic:310271"]
It means that civil divorce can be tolerated if necessary for some greater good, such as securing necessary financial support for children. Civil divorce does not and cannot dissolve the bonds of a valid Christian marriage.

[/quote]

I guess my question was really...

"Christ does not recognize civil divorce. Read Matthew 5:31-32."

....Does this mean that 2383 of the CCC is overriding Matthew 5:31-32?

Again, can't stress this enough - just trying to understand...


#9

[quote="empantarhei, post:8, topic:310271"]
I guess my question was really...

"Christ does not recognize civil divorce. Read Matthew 5:31-32."

....Does this mean that 2383 of the CCC is overriding Matthew 5:31-32?

Again, can't stress this enough - just trying to understand...

[/quote]

No, it doesn't, because even though they are divorced -- the legal contract between them is over -- the marriage isn't over. That is why a divorced person cannot marry -- they are already married and remain so unless their marriage is examined and found to be invalid.

The Jewish divorce ended the marriage, something Jesus decried. The civil divorce doesn't end the marriage. It simply ends the legal contract.


#10

[quote="empantarhei, post:5, topic:310271"]
Understood, but what of the CCC
2383 The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.176
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.

( I'm still learning!!)
thank you

[/quote]

You can get a civil divorce in order to protect yourself legally and financially, but the Church would still consider you "married" in the sense that you could not then remarry, unless the original marriage were declared "null".


#11

[quote="Phemie, post:9, topic:310271"]
No, it doesn't, because even though they are divorced -- the legal contract between them is over -- the marriage isn't over. That is why a divorced person cannot marry -- they are already married and remain so unless their marriage is examined and found to be invalid.

The Jewish divorce ended the marriage, something Jesus decried. The civil divorce doesn't end the marriage. It simply ends the legal contract.

[/quote]

now THAT helps me to understand. Thank you...


#12

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