This is my first post so please bear with me.
I came into the Church almost 15 years ago when I c was in college. I later married in the Church to a cradle-Catholic and, after much counsel, separated and ultimately divorced. My divorce was extremely traumatic, and my treatment by fellow church - members and priest was likewise. I spoke about my circumstances to only my confessor and one close friend as I did not even want to approach the sin of detraction. My ex took it upon himself to wage an unholy war against me and spoke horrific untruths to whomever would listen. I was literally left with no one. Long story short, evil won for a time. Rather than carry my cross, I ran from it and from the Church. I allowed myself to believe the Church was the issue when it was the sins of fallible men, not the Church, which had caused me so much grief. I later remarried outside the Church.
A few years after divorce, my ex petitioned for a decree of nullity and, for a host of reasons, I fought it. The biggest reason was that his petition was rife with the same calumny I endured when we were divorcing. The annulment was granted, but I appealed it to the Rota (where it is currently under review). It was originally ruled upon without my input because I did not understand the process.
My conundrum is two-fold.
First, I am still confused about the whole thing. I appealed my ex 's request because I truly believe that it was granted on an invalid basis since the petition and information provided was fabricated by my ex… Even though an annulment world benefit me currently since I am remarried and have now found my way back to the Church, I could not see the spiritual validity of such an annulment, even if it was granted “on paper”. Also, I returned to the Church during this annulment appeal time period and my views on the whole thing have changed substantially. Am I right to think that an annulment granted based on untruths is spiritually invalid? Am I just being overscrupulous?
Second, what the heck now? I do believe there was a defect in form (or several) in my marriage that would be grounds for annulment but I don’t think I can raise them at the appellate level… Can I? I did not raise them before because I was not involved in the original request for annulment and, frankly, at the time I discovered the annulment had been granted, wanted to fight against it for a couple of selfish, non - Catholic reasons as well (this was before I saw the error of my choices and returned to the Church.)
Anyone have any insight? I’m beyond confused about the process at this point.