I absolutely love Catholic Answers and all the people on the call in radio shows. They always make sure you know truth except in this one area and I wanted to see if you guys think they should. Sometimes someone will call in and say “Me and my fiance are trying to get an annulment” and then they will ask their question. I never hear the apologists try to tell them they need to not be dating while this process is taking place and that the church might come back with the verdict that one or both of you are married still with the ones you divorced. So in essence right now the church views you as a married man or women that is dating another person. Just some opinions please.
While you have a valid marriage you may not romantically date someone other than your spouse.
I’ve never listened to the radio show. From what you mention, it sounds as if the callers are asking questions on “Annulment”, not if they should be dating. Maybe the CA apologists are answering the questions that are asked, not adding more detail to the conversation that was not asked by the caller?
Is there a way you can ask the radio show apologist why they do not address the situation and not just the question? That would give you the best answer to your thoughts.
What do the priest at the parish do when someone presents themselves to discuss annulment and they are already in a dating relationship or another civil marriage?
What does the Marriage Tribunal at the Diocese do when one someone presents themselves for an annulment and they are already in a dating relationship or another civil marriage?
I would guess most people seeking an annulment are already in some form of relationship when they decide to seek an annulment.
Dating someone and still living under the same roof? A big NO. Separated and dating? Not wrong but not right. A marriage is supposed to last a lifetime but that is not always what happen. Love can wear out, that feeling you once had will just peter out. Sometime there is something that will save the marriage, sometimes not. But one thing is for sure, when love die, nothing can bring it back to life.
After my divorce I did have two “encounters” with the opposite gender, but they did not last long, and now it has been close to twenty years since my last affair. But I did not feel that bad about dating and a bit more then just dating. I was quite young then, and maybe not so wise, but done and confessed, and forgiven.
Of course dating while you are still considered married by the Church is wrong. It doesn’t matter if you are “separated” or not. Your married. Period. According to the church. No dating unless you are free to marry in the Church.
Additionally, lack of love is not a valid reason for an annulment. Either your marriage was valid when it was entered into or it was not. Nothing that happens after the wedding is a valid reason for annulment. The church considers all marriages valid unless proven otherwise and those reasons must have been in place from the beginning for it to be invalid.
Separated and dating is wrong. As long as a couple are married they may NOT date at all.
The radio show does not have time or the proper personnel to get into spiritual counseling. They are going to answer the factual areas of the question.
They are not pastors of these people. They can direct them to their pastor, who can counsel them appropriately.
IOW, this is not the Oprah show.