Annulments and non-Catholic


#1

Removed due to needless attacks and judging by members. First post and I already regret posting here


#2

Whoa, whoa, whoa…she is not free to date, and you need to back off.

You do not file anything. She needs to at the very least, be divorced before you can date her, she is a married woman.


#3

You are dating a married woman, you are having a very inappropriate emotional relationship with a married woman.


#4

Just noticed the part that she is on her second husband already. That should concern you, OP.


#5

No, she needs to be declared free to marry by a competent Tribunal before he can date her.


#6

Yes, you are correct!


#7

The old adage “If they will do it with you, they will do it to you” is worth considering.


#8

ONCE free to date her I think it is in both of your best interest to go through PRE marriage counselling. She has been married numerous times and is blaming each of the men for pressuring her into marriage. STOP and think about this a minute. You said "She is one that doesn’t make changes very fast in her life. " But obviously she married multiple times. NO ONE could force her to marry them. She has issues and you are a Catholic that wants to live your Catholic Faith. SLOW DOWN. Think this through. You need to talk to your Priest and you both IF AND WHEN you can properly date and possibly decide to marry need therapy together to deal with all of this. There are MANY things that need to be discussed and settled but like it’s been said she is STILL a married woman and wants to jump into another marriage before this present one is even ended.


#9

Also, I worry about someone that would marry 2 times because they felt pressured to by their husband.
And yet, the OP says the woman is slow to move.

Someone will probably show up eventually and say she married under duress.
Twice.


#10

Something seems very fishy here if I am honest. She is married so aren’t you two having an affair at least emotionally right now?

Annulment would be required: "And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” - Matthew 19:9

Please read and reflect on this verse:

““I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”” - John 4:17-18

While yes if you get an annulment that would be okay, this situation seems highly problematic and I think you should talk it over with a priest and reflect on these Bible verses. But right now, forgive me for the bluntness, are you not having an affair?


#11

Response removed. No need to open myself to attacks by those who wish to pass judgement.


#12

I was not judging either you or your friend in the slightest. It is very good that you both have a very good supportive relationship. I am just noting not to get ahead of yourself. In terms of advice, this is from Canon Law Professionals:

In the event that there are multiple marriages, each marriage must be examined by the tribunal on its own merits to determine its validity. No marriage is exempt from scrutiny, regardless of its circumstances. The appropriate petition should be filed for each marriage depending on the applicable type of case, and all documentation must be obtained for each marriage. The existence of multiple marriages and the complexity it presents is one of the reasons that one should consider hiring a canon lawyer. Having a professional canonist to help you sort out what types of cases should be filed and how the multiple marriages should be addressed in one’s autobiographical essay helps your case to run more efficiently and smoothly.

I will keep you both in my prayers, I hope you both can have much healing from your pasts


#13

Additional source for you which I think you will find helpful:

Go specifically to the section titled " Are there options for working with previous marriages other than the annulment process?" It is too long to copy+paste


#14

First she needs to leave her husband. And file for a divorce. I am however a little confused you said all her ex husbands and her current husband has pressured her into marriage ( how many times has she been married) in roughly the same paragraph you mentioned her not denying you a church wedding.(she’s not even divorced or left her husband and she’s planning on a church wedding I’m sorry that rings alarm bells for me) A marriage is for ever, she could’ve even at the court house told the person marrying her and her husband’s look no I’m sorry I can’t marry I’m not ready or I don’t think it’s the right thing to do.

Please don’t feel disheartened and please speak to a preist


#15

Also no one here is judging you. I have read your other post on this thread that states she was raped and had this guys baby and married her and her brother killing her pets. I think before you start dating her she needs councelling and to go to the police about the rape and to press charges. As she would need to go through the annulment process for all marriages before you can even think about being married in the Catholic church and for her to go through that she will honestly need councelling. The annulment process is not easy even in straight forward cases.


#16

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