They’re annulling everywhere! :rolleyes: Ok, I am married and do not want an annulment, by any means. However I was looking up some information for somebody else and saw some of the possible “grounds” for getting one. I realized that* I *probably have grounds for an annulment! And I tend to think that given how broadly one can interpret something like “fully free to give consent” in our psycho-babble age that most married couples today could probably get one. Is everyone who could possibly wiggle out of a valid marriage required to make sure their marriage is “wiggle proof” (any such issues decided by a tribunal even if, like me, they do not even WANT an annulment) or is it safe to carry on assuming, like the Church does, that their marriage is valid unless there’s actual evidence to the contrary?
I’d like to add that I am creeped out by the thought that my marriage, which I’ve been so sure is valid, could nevertheless be “argued” into invalidity under the guidelines I saw and not sure if I am supposed to address that somehow. All the questions on here about this seem to be from people who are actually seeking annulments, want to obtain them, and are grasping at every possible reason their first (second, third, etc) marriage didn’t exist. Always to be told “the tribunal will have to evaluate that.” One Ask an apologist question was about whether getting married at 18 would be grounds, and the questioner was told that it would have be evaluated by a tribunal, it COULD be grounds. Well, I was married at 18, too. I think i was perfectly capable of giving consent, but evidently, my marriage COULD be invalid unless a tribunal tells me otherwise??? What, is every person who married under the age of 20 supposed to have their marriage investigated later to make sure they were REALLY mature enough since they MAY not have been and MAY not be in a valid marriage after all?
Sorry, I just find it so frustrating…marriage is permanent. Sometimes people make poor choices, and I am forming the distinct impression that it is too easy to latch onto just about anything as a way out of those past choices because no one likes to think they can’t just have a “do-over” (no offense intended to anyone, I know not every person seeking an annulment falls under that umbrella). No person who is diagnosed at any point in their lives with mental illness can ever rest secure in the permanence of their marriage, because what if the illness was “latent” in its effect during the ceremony and somehow impeded consent? No young person can marry even though it’s legal both civilly and in the Church because there is no surefire way of guaranteeing their maturity when they exchange vows…honestly, how can anyone be really sure they’re really married and not living in sin with the way things are now?
All thoughts appreciated…but be please nice…I’m a young crazy woman who values her marriage