I’m not going to say I know what it is you’re going through, but I have lived in a situation like this as the daughter of a woman who got cheated on many times. My mother married my biological father when she was 19. He kept her isolated at home and never let her work. She had my sister at 20, me at 23 and my brother at 26. Right before my brother turned 1, my mom found pictures of my so-called dad in the car. She couldn’t believe what she was looking at! :mad: The pictures were of a Church wedding and my dad was the groom (with another woman!!!).
Before she found these pics, she had received many calls from other women telling her my dad was having sex with them and that he didn’t care about her. She didn’t listen, she never did until she found the heart breaking pictures. My parents were married in the CC, and here she found pics of him and that … woman (she doesn’t even deserve to be called woman, but for respect of CAF rules, I keep mean comments to myself), the pics were of a Catholic wedding!!! The worst part was that this woman was very pregnant in the pics.
We moved to a different state, and my mom filed for divorce but he didn’t want to sign the papers, he said he loved them both (can you believe this man??). As time passed, we didn’t hear of him, maybe once every 2-4 yrs, then it was 6, now it’s been 15 yrs since I last saw him.
He preferred the other woman and that kid of theirs. As a child who grew up in this mess, let me tell you that it is horrible. I feel so much anger against this man who calls himself my father. I dislike him for cheating on my mom, for leaving us, and for taking care of his new family.
But let me tell you this Lexee, my mom, just got her MA in business management, my dad never let go to school or work, my mom works for a big HMO and is very successful, my dad works in a laundry, my mom has her own house, my dad rents a 2 bedroom house, my mom has kept the same job for yrs and is growing a lot w/in the company, my dad can’t even hold a job for a year. My mom is happily remarried w/a man who loves all her 3 children as if we were his own, my dad’s wife cannot even prove her 1st daughter is my dad’s. My dad’s family still likes my mom and love us (even though we don’t see them much), and they can’t stand his wife or kids.
He had everything going for him and he messed it up. What goes around comes around. My mom loved him w/all her heart and gave everything to him, and now she is so successful and doing great. My dad gave us nothing, he even starved us when we lived w/him (our neighbors basically fed us every day, the Drs paid our medical bills) and worse of all, his marriage to that woman isn’t valid neither civilly nor through the CC. You get at the end what you give at the beginning.
You will get rewarded by God, while he might never be happy or have peace of mind again. Let God be the judge of him and let God be your guidance. Give yourself to God as my mom did, and offer everything you do and have to your son and late daughter. God will reward you! God will judge him for his actions. You have everything to gain, you can build yourself a great future, while he is being adulterous and doesn’t have place to call home. Be strong for your son and for yourself. If it weren’t for my mom, we’d be in the streets of Mexico (probably doing something I’d be ashamed of) but she pulled it together and held God’s hand all the way thru and all her 3 children have gone to college, 2 of us are married, 1 w/a child, 1 is in the Navy, 1 already has a house of her own, and one is still working to get her MA. Do you want to know what the bad part of all this is? He (my dad) is missing out on all this, he missed out on 3 children’s lives and the lives of his future grandkids, he missed our weddings, he missed graduations, bdays, xmas, etc… you on the other hand will be there and that is priceless…
May God bless you… You are in my prayers.